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Comments for 'To Kill a Mockingbird' |
Anonymous
12:52 am | April 24, 2003
Write the next one!!!!! Please?
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Dispraiser
1:03 am | April 7, 2003
I also once wrote a fanfic (or at least thef irst half dozen pages of it) called To Mock a Kilingbird, quite different in meaning from yours. It was about a rogue Spartan that was hunting people in a farming district and mimicing a bird called the Rahnok...
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Dispraiser
2:31 pm | April 6, 2003
What, it sounds like something you may have heard of?
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Anthony Coronado
11:09 am | April 5, 2003
Right now I am debating between reading your fan fic or not becuase of your title...
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el_halo_diablo
10:41 pm | April 4, 2003
AAAAAAAAAAAH! Don't remind me of that awful book!
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monitor101
9:59 pm | April 4, 2003
Dirty Commie said it all I agree with a B.
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Neco Divad
11:13 am | April 4, 2003
I'm reading the real story. LOL. but yeah, it seemed a bit bland.
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Agent Shade
1:53 am | April 4, 2003
yo dude. i must say, very impressive. again, dirty commie pretty much nailed all the problems that i could see. very nice though...hope you make another one. cheers dude
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sunscorpian
12:03 am | April 4, 2003
the real story is a good one.
oldy but goody i think.
(but so sad)
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sunscorpian
9:45 pm | April 3, 2003
well, i think a B is great! thank you.
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Dispraiser
8:36 pm | April 3, 2003
Dirty Commie said it all... Wish that everyone would go and read the thing that Louis told you to so you would all know the indent thing... Firmly better than all the other crap around here though and manages to walk away with a B. Keep in mind, though, that my grading scale just got bumped up (Looks like people get piseed off otherwise...)
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James Kinsella
7:33 pm | April 3, 2003
This story is a good one. Other than the sort of undescript sentencing its good. Send the next one out soon.
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sunscorpian
6:57 pm | April 3, 2003
thanks
already working on next one.
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Person
6:43 pm | April 3, 2003
Seems like a good start to a great series. Most likely it will be better than most Fan Fics.
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sunscorpian
10:37 am | April 3, 2003
p.s. i ment there "is" a problem sorry
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sunscorpian
10:30 am | April 3, 2003
thanks for the comments! im glad youy liked it.
ya... its kind-of confusing in general, that is getting lines write. i didnt want to resort to KEYES: blah blah blah
privat tim: blah blah blah
but i may give it a shot or something. lastly, i tried very hard to indent but there i a problem with the form and it wont let you. so instead i spaced.
im glad you liked it because i really put some work into it.
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Dirty Commie
8:40 am | April 3, 2003
I must say, I was quite surprised by this story!
+I liked the medkit description
+Paragraphs were spaced out, while this isn't technically correct, I thought it was a little easier to read, being online and all. Remember to use the [indent] tag when you submit.
+The knife (40,000,000,000 credits wow!) was pretty cool.
-BLAND!!! Your sentences are all like: "He walked. He saw a ship. This was bad." Mix it up!!
-Sentence variety. Well, see above.
-You might want to break up your paragraphs more. They're fairly large.
-Pacing. This is a tough one. The part w/ the elite was less than twice as long as the knife description. See what I mean?
-That first part was HELLA confusing! USE QUOTES! START A NEW PARAGRAPH WHEN SOMEONE ELSE SPEAKS!
It's easier to find -'s than +'s.
Overall: Good effort, much better than many fics. I think you have a lot of potential, and so does this story. I won't grade it, its 5am and im tired.
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