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Comments for 'The Answer to the Question that Nobody Asked' |
Wado
8:26 pm | July 21, 2004
Great imagination skraeling. What I found amazing about the story were all the ideas put into it. You must be quite a creative person.
Unfortunately, I only found a few places in the story funny enough to call this story a comedy. The best word I could use is potential comedy. There is a lot of potential here, but the ideas, however original, are in my opinion under-developed.
My suggestion is to look at your stories from the point of view of each character, see if what is going on makes sense for them. For instance, I highly doubt a Prophet would take the kind of back talk in the story from an Elite, you might have considered the Elite being imprisoned or killed off by the Prophet halfway into the story, then another Elite commander takes his place, and then that one is killed off, etc. You could have killed off half of the Covenant Elites in just your one story by the time it ended. Another place that seemed out of character was the Elite talking about the Hunter making fun of them and then shooting, that is not that fun, much more fun to have the Elite shoot FIRST and then say why.
Anyway, these are just suggestions, I hope they are of value to you.
Overall, you can improve on this stuff by letting your ideas brew around in your head longer before putting them into print. Carry a notebook around when you have free time and when an idea comes to mind, write it down. Then later take what you wrote and think about it, let the idea mature in your head a while.
It takes years to develop some fictional worlds and the characters that inhabit them. When you write about characters and worlds that are well developed in your mind, it isn't like it is made up anymore, it is like it is really happening to you.
You definitely have lots of great ideas and writing talent, keep up the writing and have fun.
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No one
11:58 am | July 21, 2004
It wasn'T all that bad. Good job. Oh solidus lets c u do better.
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Solidus Snake
11:33 am | July 21, 2004
That was stupid. And no code.
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Guardian
6:05 pm | July 20, 2004
Stupidity: 10
Funny: 8
Effort: 9
Total: 27/30
Not bad, i actually laughed, while reading through parts of this, unlike other comedies i've read by others, whose names i have now forgotten, but not the point. It was funny. Next time click on Directions to use when you click on fanfiction Submit link.
Code, it and it will be better to read.
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FirefromHell
4:35 am | July 20, 2004
Hi everyone!
I liked it alot! It ties everything abt Halo (except perhaps the Jackals) in hilarious ways. And the language are flawless. :)
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CoLd BlooDed
7:33 pm | July 19, 2004
I skimmed through parts, but mainly I just read the dialogue.
I found this so stupid it was hilarious.
"Maybe he can't run because he's so fat."
Jab.
Hilarious.
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Dave Luck
6:27 pm | July 19, 2004
I cranked down the resolution in my monitor, and it's a little better.
Yes, I can see it a little more clearly now.
Somewhat amusing.
- Dave.
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Spacefan
4:26 pm | July 19, 2004
"Jus 'Kilamee" -- a really funny play on words with an Elite's name. So the Hunter's like mushrooms, huh? Hmmmm...
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Slit Throat
3:23 pm | July 19, 2004
I liked it…
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Red Ghost
3:02 am | July 19, 2004
Er...it was cute? It did have some funny parts in it. (I liked the mushrooms) You do need to work on it though. Personally, I couldn't do any better so it was a good job. I don't know, with me, I make fan fic comedy by putting in a lot of situational and dramatic irony and having an erratic story line. But I'm not good at comedy. Just an idea, read the fan fics "The Wizards Duel" (its the one mocking LotR) and the second one. Anyway, good stuff.
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Severian
12:03 am | July 19, 2004
Well, at least you tried, and it wasn't gobbledegook...
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Lords Fire
12:00 am | July 19, 2004
That was hilarious. I liked the childish dialogue of the various characters, and the odd tie in to reality. I particularly appreciated the clean language. Probably the funniest thing I have read in the fan fic section. Keep it going man.
-Lords Fire
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Dave Luck
6:29 pm | July 18, 2004
I couldn't follow it.
- Dave.
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MC's Cousin
4:55 pm | July 18, 2004
Well I think that that was so incredibly stupid that any smarts I had left have now been sucked away into an alternate dimention.
As for the story, it could use the code. It was almost funny, but I think you about went beyond stupid.
Signing Off
MCC
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