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Comments for 'Hitting Home: The Home Front (Chapter 1)' |
Shifty
12:23 pm | June 30, 2004
What exactly is wrong with the code?
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hunter_that_dances
2:40 am | June 30, 2004
only flaw:the code. everything else ids fine
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russ687
3:30 am | June 29, 2004
Hmmm, do you live in Oregon? (No, seriously, tell me). Don't worry, I'm not going to track you down....
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Forerunner (Chaz)
11:33 am | June 28, 2004
That was a great story... hope to see more like that in the future! can u give a estimated date on the next part?
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Shifty
11:08 am | June 28, 2004
Thank guys, apreaciate it a lot. I'l be cranking out the second one to file out the nail biting (or breaking) cliffhanger. I'll just keep truckin along. Thanks again.
Shifty
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Shifty
10:50 am | June 28, 2004
Either the next fan fic rush Wu puts up or possibly the one after that. Not sure (pretty busy) but I'll try to get done in the next couple of days
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BansheeBoy
7:08 pm | June 27, 2004
That was kickass! Great story Shifty. This is a happy day also because I finally got some fanfic through. Finally! Anyway great story!
9.8/10
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Nick Kang
5:17 pm | June 27, 2004
Yes, awesome. You were missing a few commas in there, but I'll let that slide because this story was so good;)
NK
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Helljumper
2:00 am | June 27, 2004
Standing appaluse, that was a great story. Love every second of it. Did you ever read my short story, i forgot the title, do a search under my name its just one entry. Love stories with emotions.
ODST
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Dave Luck
1:30 am | June 27, 2004
Excellent!
Excellent!
Excellent!
Great stuff! Dramatic!
- Dave.
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SeverianofUrth
10:35 pm | June 26, 2004
You're certainly a good writer, Shifty... But the beginning was overly sugary. It doesn't read as being lyrical or poetic; rather, it reads as if you just slapped on some words from the thesarus. Also, some sentences- "score of twisted pillars" -aren't really sensible, in my opinion. Just put twenty instead of a score; score is applicable when you're writing fantasy or talking about Covenant only, in my, again, opinion.
But this was still great, Shifty.
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Shifty
7:51 pm | June 26, 2004
Damn... I knew seperating would screw the story up... anways hes about 23 (I explain later how he was always stationed closed to home and how he loved it so much). Ah well more things to remember for next story
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Young Gunna
7:15 pm | June 26, 2004
Good story. So how old was the character in the second part of the story in the firefight?
9.5/10
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Shifty
2:27 pm | June 26, 2004
I'm trying to take a action centered role in this series rather then my other one "Innocence".
I'm trying the less emotional (though some parts are) aproach and seeing how I fare in the battle field, sorta speak.
Critisisim is wanted. All you battle hardened action vets out there can certainly put in your two cents, make that your seven cents. Hope you enjoy it.
Shifty
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