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Comments for 'The Ghosts: Silver Eagle Down(Chapter 2)' |
Sergeant B
11:42 am | September 3, 2003
Oh yeah, HIS planet WASN'T being invaded, THEY were attacking the COVENANT city.
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Sergeant B
11:42 am | September 3, 2003
Thanks for the tip Dispraiser. I might use it in the 3rd chapter.
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Dispraiser
11:24 am | September 3, 2003
*Sighs again*
I had some trouble believing some of the story. Chances are that no Marines would wake up at 7 when his planet was being invaded, or be left asleep when five enemy fighters were near. Some other small mechanical errors in the plot, but nothing noticable. I had some problems with the grammar too. "More hunters(6)..." That's kind inventroy list style. Explore more creative means like 3 pairs, or a three brace of hunters rucshed in, ect. Work on the grammar and spelling and it should pave over mechanics.
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Alpha Lance
12:27 am | September 3, 2003
Well Dispraiser covered everthing. But you could put the time and location at the begining in bold. And if you don't know how its like this. [b] to start the bold and [/b] to end the bold. Just a little suggestion. And read my series if you don't mind. But keep up the good work, 9.5/10.
Alpha Lance
Creator of Halo Trilogy
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Brendan Harther.
2:33 pm | September 2, 2003
Bravo, better than the first one.
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