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Comments for 'Subit Sepulcrum Titan Ipsi- Ch.2'



JJiggssaw
11:18 am | March 29, 2004
Ahem, Sage, if you don't play Warhammer 40k, then you won't understand this, but when you say "Fortress World" it sounds a lot like Cadia or something. I think that Human planets are referred to as Colonies, not worlds. Just a tip, feel free to prove me wrong.
Flu
3:06 am | March 24, 2004
I've only posted two stories so far starting on Feb. 25th.

*whispers..search for: probably no choice*

But I've given lots and lots of useful, but unwanted advice to almost everyone since then... =D

You're next....
Thomas Harper
1:11 am | March 24, 2004
hey Flu are u new? because if u r ur sounding like uve been here awhile? just wondering.
Flu
9:36 pm | March 23, 2004
A.P.N. JJiggsaw wrote: "I also noticed that a few of your sentences lack words in them,"

I can't stop laughing long enough to write something funny about that JJigg. Talk about squinted modifiers. -_-


Nice Story Sage...

Here's something I'd like to see, and Bill Dietz, if you're listening, pay attention. Don't you think that in the 26th century they'll be using scientific notation to say stuff like 500,000 Kilometers? I can't see a nav guy saying, "Captain, we're one hundred thirty two million three hundred and fifty thousand kilometers from the target." Why wouldn't he say, "Captain, were one point three two three five and eighth kilometers (1.3235 x10^8 km) ??

It's a whole lot easier. Any of you guys had chemistry or physics classes? I know Dietz did. Try punching in all those zeros, or even saying large numbers (astrononically large ones) all the time.

BTW.... The "and eighth" part is just an easier way to say "times 10 to the eighth power"

That's my soap box for the moment. Keep up the good work.
Steele
7:29 pm | March 23, 2004
Your grammar and editing is a lot better than most people's up here and for that I salute you.

*Salutes*

There is one thing you need to remember: Put a comma inside or before the quotation marks when someone speaks.

Exapmles:

Steele said, "Of course."

"Of course," Steele said.
A.P.N JJiggssaw
11:48 am | March 23, 2004
Pretty damn good, but I noticed a few things that need fixing. For example, even though it was in quotation marks, I dont think General Twiggs should say "system" three times in one sentence (in the fifteenth paragraph). I also noticed that a few of your sentences lack words in them, but maybe that's because I just woke up. Anyway, I liked it and I look forward to the next chapter.


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