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Comments for 'The Gods of War: Spartan III's'



russ687
9:52 pm | July 8, 2004
"and he spit on the Elite" ?

In his armor? With his helmet on?
Black Titan
3:52 pm | June 19, 2004
That was awesome. I loved how you described the bloody ass kicking the spartans gave the covenant. NK can go to hell. I is a punk bitch.
Nick Kang
1:41 am | June 17, 2004
Hey Ralphboy, go to Hell. Let's see you write your own story. Usually most of the time, the people that insult other peoples' work, are the worst writers on the site. Just ask Dean Albury. So, again, go to hell.

NK
Jet
10:57 am | June 16, 2004
If you like writing, do it. Do not care what the others like, and when you write, you get better.

And i have seen a LOT more hopeless writings. I liked your story, but it was too one-sided.

Continue and keep it up!

And Ralphyboy, did you have fun writing those fake e-mails.
Jet
10:57 am | June 16, 2004
If you like writing, do it. Do not care what the others like, and when you write, you get better.

And i have seen a LOT more hopeless writings. I liked your story, but it was too one-sided.

Continue and keep it up!

And Ralphyboy, did you have fun writing those fake e-mails.
Jet
10:51 am | June 16, 2004
Ralphyboy, do you really think he believes that crap?
koop117
2:20 am | June 16, 2004
I liked it. The only thing I would change, is the fact that the Covies are no challenge to the S-III's. Good concept, a few grammar mistakes, but that's about it. Your story has very detailed writing (I can picture it as I was reading it)
INDUSTRIAL_aVATAR
2:06 am | June 16, 2004
man, its just too easy for the spartan 3's

but on the other hand, the description is pretty good
romac1991
12:52 am | June 16, 2004
I guess its the right thing to do, being everyone doesnt like me, so...

I quit

romac1991
Solidus Snake
12:32 am | June 16, 2004
I don't even know your fucking e-mail.
Ralphyboy
12:05 am | June 16, 2004
dont listen to them, they are just trying to make you feel better. In fact some of them emailed me yesterday to tell me how they REALLY feel about your writing, here are some examples:


Mainevent:


"...it sucked monkey dong, I mean I try to make him feel better in the comments page, but he is litterally of the worst writers here, if no THE."


Wiley:

"...he just sucks, I mean he thinks he writes good because we lie to him, but he is just a sorry excuse for a human being."


Solidus Snake:


"Hey Ralphyboy, I just wanted to tell you how bad I REALLY think that romac is, I mean we tell him everytime in his face that his writing is good and you should keep it up, but behind his back we are mocking him. There is not a doubt in my mind that everyone here hates him..."
shafticus
10:08 pm | June 15, 2004
The excessive overkill was, well, overkill. A good concept. Again, the III's were just too powerful.

Nevertheless, a good effort: 7/10
Jessica
8:33 pm | June 15, 2004
"Brian spat on the body as he stepped over it"

Erm, he wears a helmet...so does that mean he spit in his own helmet?
Grandgamer119
6:59 pm | June 15, 2004
I think it is good, but too violent

Also, as everyone said, INVINCIBLE. Can't have invincible characters. It's no fun because there's no suspense.

*If you know someone, but you've never met them, theyare famous*
Solidus Snake
5:24 pm | June 15, 2004
Whoa, Ralphyboy, now come on. This guy can improve, I mean my God, not everyone has a perfect story when they first write. Its all about learning from your mistakes and making sure you never make them again. He can improve.

But from the bottom of my heart Ralphyboy, go to hell. 'Cause I REALLY don't agree with you, thoughtless motherfucker.

He's better than me when I first written a story, and I have the same problem with the tenses changing up.
Jet
2:45 pm | June 15, 2004
This one is okay, i just don´t like the fact that these SPARTAN III:s are so invincible. I mean, the story got a bit one-sided: "Hey! An Elite! Let´s kill it as violently as we can!" *gunshots* "Another! Let´s kill it, and yes, violently!" *more gunshots*

But, you described their death very well, and the grammar was fair, so, i give it a

7+/10

Keep it up!
Ralphyboy
12:43 pm | June 15, 2004
im back! I hope you quit writing because you cant write, your just not talented at all. Absolutely Zero Talent. Zero. None. All the other guys here agree with me, you are a crappy writer, who writes crappy storys with crappy plots and crappy characters. Everyone here wants you to leave. Everyone. Not a single person enjoys you being here, or enjoys your writing. Oh yeah, I should re-post my new score for your flaming piece of crap story. I give it a

Crap/10


Everyone in Fan Fiction thinks you suck ass. Just
Ask them. Watch. Hey guys everyone tell romac how bad he is and how his storys are crap.
OpeningAct
7:26 am | June 15, 2004
Put horizontel lines in your writing so I don't get a headache when reading the next one. Otherwhise it was okay!
Mister Chief 117
3:50 am | June 15, 2004
It wasn't that bad.

It's a LOT better than 50% of the newb fics out there. Keep it up.
Ralphyboy
3:39 am | June 15, 2004
dang your story sucked. It had bad grammar,bad plot, bad words, bad tenses, hell, it was just bad.
You should stop writing and spare us all the horror of reading another one of your pieces of crap.

-0/10
romac1991
2:24 am | June 15, 2004
although i spent about half a day writing it, then another day and a half waiting for comments, doenst like like you guys have anything good to say, my writing isn't good enough for the critics. Im gonna stop writing for a little bit. But I'll be back....


romac1991
The NEW Zak
1:17 am | June 15, 2004
it's.........okay. Just watch out for switching tenses.
Tman
4:30 pm | June 14, 2004
I didnt read the story yet
romac1991
3:38 pm | June 14, 2004
pretty much all everyone said about my story was what they didnt like about it, only about 1 person has said something positive about it.


romac1991
romac1991
3:36 pm | June 14, 2004
thanks main ill work on those things


romac1991
Mainevent
3:18 pm | June 14, 2004
Not too terribly bad, except for a couple things.

You switched tenses several times, watch out for that.

There were a couple oddly worded sentences, that made it hard to read.

Break the longer sentences up with more periods. Too many run-ons.

And lastly, the Spartan III's were far too powerful for their own good. Dull them down and it'll be better. Nobody likes a hero who can't be beaten.
Somebody
2:53 pm | June 14, 2004
No...just leave this before it gets any worse
romac1991
12:36 pm | June 14, 2004
looks like i shouldnt continue this series...
(sniff)




romac1991
OpeningAct
12:18 pm | June 14, 2004
Everyone read To Survive V, my latest fan fic. Personally I think it's my best yet!
A Halo Fan
12:05 pm | June 14, 2004
Way too one sided. I would not like to read about guys that have no resistence, thats just boring reading. Not to mention they shouldn't gloat about what they have just done, they should be just like the Master Chief, emotionless, maybe with a witty remark here and there. That would be cool. But what these guys did was boring, they sound more like a cross between robocop and cartman. I would read more if the Spartan 3's weren't on the same page as superman. But even superman had weaknesses.
SeverianofUrth
11:49 am | June 14, 2004
I read your last one, "interrogation," and yeah, I think this is better. But, there was a moderate amount of grammatical errors in the story, coupled with the fact that sometimes, the paragraphs were just a pain to read. Also, I always thought that names came before the numbers-
Like, Hallmark-123, not 123-Hallmark.
romac1991
7:10 am | June 14, 2004
thanks other anonymous,
but im still wondering to continue the series
If no one says a lot of good stuff about it, i probaly wont

romac1991
different anonymous
7:06 am | June 14, 2004
pretty good. looking foward to the next chapters, if you're writing them.
romac1991
6:16 am | June 14, 2004
so......should I continue the Series? Anyone, answer pleez.



romac1991
romac1991
6:07 am | June 14, 2004
would you guys mind to post the score?

Thanks,


romac1991
romac1991
6:05 am | June 14, 2004
to tell the truth they are just really pissed off people that are strong as hell. When your really pissed off, AND strong as hell then your gonna have a physchotic killer. Basicall what the III series are.


romac1991
romac1991
5:54 am | June 14, 2004
thanks someone,
well when you invade someones planet it kinda pices them off and iff you have the power to rip an Elite apart, then your gonna do some pretty sick things, and like it.

romac1991
someone that you dont know
5:40 am | June 14, 2004
Looks like the Spartan III's are a little bloodthirsty. The Spartan II's were all about completing the mission quickly, effectivly, and efficiently. Guess not so for Brian and his band of raving murderers. Loved the gorey effects. Much better than your earlier attempts. 8/10 Keep this up.
romac1991
12:36 am | June 14, 2004
well anonymous,
in MY story, Spartan III's ARE that strong. But the Elites aren't that dumb or weak. The Spartan's strength and agility just make it appear like that.

romac1991
romac1991
12:36 am | June 14, 2004
sorry i guess I didn't


romac1991
Anonymous
12:25 am | June 14, 2004
That was way to 1 sided, bloody, and violent. Elites are not that dumb or weak. They were faster and more powerful than Spartan II's, so Spartan III's should be equal.
Slit Throat
12:20 am | June 14, 2004
Actually, you didn't.
romac1991
12:12 am | June 14, 2004
I did make the names like that, I put Brian 314, and Darren 379, and Ralph 331.



romac1991
Void
9:03 pm | June 13, 2004
Pretty good, for just a fourth story.


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