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Comments for 'And now all hell will break loose Part 1'



metallicafan
12:50 am | September 2, 2003
yea,if I make mistakes like not putting apostrophes or something,that's[almost did it again right there] because I just forget.and if I try to hit the tab key,on webtv it jumps down to the next info box.And if I space it doesn't show up. I'm crossing my fingers that the next part[which I have submitted] shows up better.


and yes,I am a fan of metallica.
Alpha Lance
7:57 pm | September 1, 2003
I can see that you are a fan of Metallica, and I just read your fanfic. And I notice that you didn't indent after alot of the period and comas. But it dosen't really matter. And it would be nice to indent. I indent know, my chapter II part 2 was indented. And you had some spelling errors, but your not the only you with spelling errors. because I miss spell words too. But the story was good, and I have to give you a, 9/10. Keep it man.

And also read my storys, 'Halo Trilogy' and my peoms. Read them if you won't to. And if you don't won't to read them. Its okay, I want force you.

- Alpha Lance
pooman
11:58 am | September 1, 2003
niether do i sorry
metallicafan
3:16 am | September 1, 2003
I have no idea what pooman is talking about.


Quick update on the paragraphs.On the next part I'm am gonna put spaces in between paragraphs.

So it'll look

like this some times.
Wiley
10:50 pm | August 31, 2003
If it's so crappy, then why are you on the site?
Exactly.
pooman
4:44 pm | August 31, 2003
ok... that appache119 guy told me to u guys this i dont lie. tell all the others i was barbielover57
pooman
2:54 pm | August 31, 2003
ya! metallica!! 10/10
Alpha Lance
1:30 pm | August 31, 2003
Hay that was good, 9/10.
metallicafan
1:32 am | August 31, 2003
oops.Well,during the writing of this,I kinda forgot some parts that were originally intended to be there[like the part for surviving weeks in there,I forgot to put something about supply drops]

and I'll try to get those damn paragraphs right.They look kinda different on my browser.
Shogun
1:26 am | August 31, 2003
Bloody hell for all you people who are still dishing out this idiotic fan fiction and worshippig the most crapiest shooter on the planet, I'm laughing at you.
Hawk7886
8:47 pm | August 30, 2003
I don't see how they could survive in the jungle for weeks without running out of ammo. Not to mention how much food they would need.

I'm glad you got your weapons' names right, since so many *other* authors don't know what they are.

8.5/10
hornet34
4:55 pm | August 30, 2003
A little more work and this story would be real good, you caught my interest with the new 'creature' that you introduced. Look forward to your next chapter. 8.4/10
Kaboose
1:06 pm | August 30, 2003
Not bad...only a few spelling errors, but may i suggest some paragraphs? Because it's kind of hard to read 'cause it just looks like a big blob or words...but besides that, it was all right...8.5/10


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