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Comments for 'The Empire (Episode-1)' |
Jinkaiden-XI
11:58 am | July 31, 2003
I: Don't listen to Anonymous. He/she hates everything as far as I've seen since I showed up months ago.
II: Please format. It's hard to read the dialog when it's scrambled with everything else.
III: Divide everything up. Just because the rules say you need 750 words, don't let that push you. 750 words is not a lot when you know what you're doing.
IV: Space between new paragraphs (There were few, apparently) because even with new titles, it is very confusing.
V: Keep first-person writing simple. To me, it is one of the hardest forms to understand in this sort of format.
VI: Add all five components together and make sure nothing is terribly misspelled. I can tell this, even as your first fanfic, has great potential.
VII: Don't let people get to you. My first fanfics weren't as good because it takes experience to get used to the place. Especially ignore spammers: they are the messengers of Satan.
Sorry for the long comment, but I hate to see good writers have fiction that is below what they are capable.
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MasterChief21
3:13 am | January 13, 2003
It wasnt too bad for a begining story, but like Knightmare said, use some for formating and whatnot.
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moniter101
2:35 am | January 13, 2003
it was ok
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Hikaru-119
8:10 pm | January 12, 2003
Not exactly the most well written story, but I see it's your first. So I will have to say it's good for a beginner. Keep trying and don't make it look or feel like a timeline from history class even it looks like that was what you were trying to make.
Oh yeah, I like my flood scrambled or in the case of infestation form I like them buttered and in a garbage bag when I watch Halo videos. yum, yum.
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Knightmare(MM
5:59 am | January 12, 2003
Back off, fucker. You suck.
Author person... try toning down the length and use a bit more in the formatting department. Maybe submit stuff in parts?
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Anonymous
9:49 pm | January 11, 2003
Your story sucked...
It used too many words...
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