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SOS.Odin
2:49 am | September 25, 2003
read my stuff
i barely got any comments man
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SOS.Odin
2:45 am | September 25, 2003
frickin pimp man
dats all i gotta say
frickin pimp
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Mainevent
7:10 pm | September 24, 2003
Actually, I haven't taken any writing or poetry classes. I just had this feeling, that I wanted him (guy talking) to just start off describing himself, then slowly but surely getting more impassioned and talking about the marines, and then finally humanity itself.
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hornet34
4:08 pm | September 24, 2003
Beautiful. Did you just finish a poetry class? You rythym was fluid and I loved the way you set your meter, just a few words to begin with and increasing until the end. Doing it this way seemed to me that the words got louder as I read. Don't know if that makes sense to you, so if it doesn't I'll just say "fantastic"
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Hunter_Killer
11:40 am | September 24, 2003
A little on the gllomy side, but other than that, IT KICK SERIOUS ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S: You have more comments on you poem than my two stories: READ THE LATEST A SERIES OF WIERD EVENTS!!!!
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Walker
2:54 am | September 24, 2003
*Salutes*
And that's all I have to say.
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Dispraiser
10:51 pm | September 23, 2003
Wow. I am not a poetry guy, i don't know a damn thing about any of the rhythm, ryming, ect, but I do know that this one is damn good. The symbolism is the whole thing. I came in here with a list of things to bitch you out about, such as a lack of personification of humanity, maybe only showing the good traits or overglorifying our struggle, but you actually made humanity the common person. Keep writing... This was damn good.
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Mainevent
9:50 pm | September 23, 2003
I accidentally rhymed ground with ground, so change the second one to burial mound instead of resting ground.
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Janglurevil7
9:39 pm | September 23, 2003
(Slowly claps his hands) (Stands up, continues clapping slowly) Wow.....wh-h-h-wow!
THAT WAS GOOD!
And it rhymes too!
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Mainevent
9:23 pm | September 23, 2003
I'll give them the same amount of time that bastard COrtana gave me, 6:00.
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Alpha Lance
7:48 pm | September 23, 2003
Hey ME, I'm posting, besides, shcoll is getting out rigth now, well for me. But you have to give them time. And another great poem.
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Mainevent
6:57 pm | September 23, 2003
So that's it, nobody else?
Everyone else has like 50 posts on their stories, and neither of mine have crap.
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Sergeant B
9:50 am | September 23, 2003
Another great! Bravo.
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