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Comments for 'Angels war II stage'



Anonymous
6:59 am | May 24, 2004
self exellent
Master_Chief189
10:57 pm | October 18, 2003
8/10
Javier fernandez-Vina
1:44 pm | October 18, 2003
I did a spell check using microsoft works, and i guess it was full of mistakes, the second one and the third one.I will spell check the fourth one before i post it.I can't change the Third one because it's already been posted. Thanks for your comments. It lets me know what im doing wrong, at least the story is clean.
Javier Fernandez-Vina
11:56 am | October 18, 2003
I'll try to change it's structure even though i've already posted the 3rd one, but you're right it is sloppy.
Hawk7886
11:33 am | October 18, 2003
It's hard to read a block of words, try to indent or at least separate your paragraphs. I really don't care about an authors' race, so it's unnecessary to mention that.

Please don't forget to space properly.

6/10
Alpha Lance
11:27 am | October 18, 2003
It was good. But space between periods, put periods or commas in the guates like this,

"What the hell is going on here," the Marine said.

Please indent too, its to bunch up, don't start a new paragraph all the time. Also, if you don't indent, just space berween the paragraph so it won't look so sloopy. But still, it was good.
Nemesis
2:02 am | October 18, 2003
the only problems i noticed have already been mentioned...work on your overall story structure and grammar, then you will have a great story here. 8/10
UNSC_spec._117
1:50 am | October 18, 2003
hey it was a great story but keep in mind to revise once it written dont just submit it when u think its done you left some letters out of ur words.
Javier Fernandez-Vina
5:47 pm | October 17, 2003
Okay im over the mexican thing, please post comments it means a lot to me.
Thanks.
Javier Fernandez-Vina
12:57 pm | October 17, 2003
Second time i post my fic, hope you enjoy.And let's make this clear im not mexican im cuban.


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