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Comments for 'The Second Ring (Part 2)'



John Kitchen
12:33 pm | December 2, 2003
Darn it!!!!!!!!How come everything keeps disapearing and reappering?? *sigh* I read it, and it was good, except for how obsevive you got over his armor!! i mean, its just armor!! Holy COW! Calm it down, armor is armor, its not the friggin Holy Grail!! The Armor doens't make the Cheif, its his skills.
Steve Ollett
12:20 pm | December 2, 2003
I've just read your series so far and I am impressed with the way the story is developing.

Is good to actually see a story rather than the usual "Grunt shoots Marine #1, Marine #1 screams in agony, blood splatters everywhere, Marine #2 shouts 'You Covie bastard!' etc, etc."

Yes action is necessary in a story, but not at the expense of your story and whatever message you are trying to convey.

Ok, I'll get down off my soap-box now.
John Kitchen
12:17 pm | December 2, 2003
Sorry, the words Corvette and MC shouldn't go together.
John Kitchen
12:17 pm | December 2, 2003
Well, I didn't read your story, but I can tell from reading this I should. The only reason I don't is because it is against my Halo Religion to put the words "MC" and "Corvette" together. You see, "MC" Should go with i.e. "doom". "death", "blood", "brutallity" etc. Sorry man.
Now, maybe if it was a Dodge wit da HEMI!!!!
John Kitchen
12:17 pm | December 2, 2003
Well, I didn't read your story, but I can tell from reading this I should. The only reason I don't is because it is against my Halo Religion to put the words "MC" and "Corvette" together. You see, "MC" Should go with i.e. "doom". "death", "blood", "brutallity" etc. Sorry man.
Now, maybe if it was a Dodge wit da HEMI!!!!
Hawk7886
6:31 am | December 2, 2003
Ok you guys, a little thing on double-posting.

When you click the Post Comment button, leave it alone. Some browsers lag, (mine is a lagging little bitch especially), so let the command go through - Don't get impatient and hammer the button.

Don't refresh the page imediatly after posting. Sometimes, it will give you a prompt "Page has expired" or some other shit, and ask if you want to resend the data. DON'T DO THIS. resending the data resends your "Post Comment", also known as "double-posting".


NOTE: If anybody sees this and thinks, "He's talking total bullshit!" Please correct me.
The Real Jason...really.
1:27 am | December 2, 2003
Eh, I like to go into detail about things, especially when the Mark VI turns the MC into an electric eel. Oh, and a Corvette is a type of spaceship class, not the classic sports car of American muscle and sleek, Italian design. *has a Stingray, sorry ;)*

Indeed, the armor does not make the Chief, but it certainly amplifies him. I think the MJOLNIR is a specific part of what makes the Chief inherently cool. Outside of it, as I showed in the story, he is a vulnerable human just like anyone else. Inside, he's calm, confident, and a stone-faced warrior. It's a security blanket issue, and something I elaborated on because I want the Chief to seem more human, less machine.
The Real Jason...really.
1:27 am | December 2, 2003
Eh, I like to go into detail about things, especially when the Mark VI turns the MC into an electric eel. Oh, and a Corvette is a type of spaceship class, not the classic sports car of American muscle and sleek, Italian design. *has a Stingray, sorry ;)*

Indeed, the armor does not make the Chief, but it certainly amplifies him. I think the MJOLNIR is a specific part of what makes the Chief inherently cool. Outside of it, as I showed in the story, he is a vulnerable human just like anyone else. Inside, he's calm, confident, and a stone-faced warrior. It's a security blanket issue, and something I elaborated on because I want the Chief to seem more human, less machine.
Agent Shade (the real one)
8:59 pm | December 1, 2003
no, the two stories i was trying to write as Nemesis wasn't going so well, so i'm back to Agent Shade (sorry Jason for spamming)
Nazgul
3:22 pm | December 1, 2003
Doesn't Shade go by Nemesis now anyway?
Myth
2:32 pm | December 1, 2003
I'M with Hawk, Both are friggin frods, why would Jason call himself "the real jason" if he hasn't been impersonnated...this immatation stuff is getting really old, and everyone who does it is being a frikin retard because they don't wanna make the comments theirselves...or they can't
Agent Shade (the real one)
12:24 pm | December 1, 2003
also, i don't say things like "the first paragraph was sucky" sucky? what kind of moron are you? that isn't even a fucking word....sorry for taking up space Jason, but i really don't want to have any enemies on this site, just because some asshole pretends to be me...
Agent Shade (the real one)
12:22 pm | December 1, 2003
not again....i really wish someone would find the assholes who pretends to be someone who isn't...Jason, I am the real Agent Shade...i just finished reading your story, and loved it....even if i had hated it, i wouldn't say something like that, i wouldn't post a comment at all...i'm sorry...
CovieKilla
12:20 pm | December 1, 2003
That aint shade...i was talking to him, he said that he hasnt been here...someone is going around using our good names
Hawk7886
1:16 am | December 1, 2003
I knew that wasn't Jason anyway. The Fake one replied to FakeShade's post in less than one minute.
The Real Jason, again.
1:07 am | December 1, 2003
Sorry, just wanted to note you should keep an eye out in the next couple days for Part 3. Still no fighting, but you'll be getting a pleasant surprise as to just what the Corvette is transporting besides the MC.
The Real Jason
1:05 am | December 1, 2003
No worries... If I leave a comment, you'll see note of it in my proper grammar and intellect. :D

So, yeah. That wasn't me who said that little 'f-you' speel.
FOrunnER
10:18 pm | November 30, 2003
I thought it was good, why didnt you like it Shade?
Traumatised Marine
9:33 am | November 30, 2003
Yea, can we get more like fics like these instead of the torrent of dire text-vomit that caused Lwu such a headache that he had to make the submission system.
Dispraiser
6:27 am | November 30, 2003
I was mourning the fanfic section as dead when I stumbled upon this one. Second decent one I've seen this update. Good concept, and bold enough to live without fighting.

Sorry, reminds me of a simpsons quote.
"Hey, wanna fight!?!"
"Them's fightin words!"
the two proceed to fight...

Sorry...
Jason
5:28 am | November 30, 2003
We'll?! Fuck you man, fuck you!!!
Agent Shade
5:28 am | November 30, 2003
I give this story a 2/10 because it sucks. I read the first paragraph and it is sucky. Nice try, but leave it to me kid...
Sentinel
1:32 am | November 30, 2003
Awsome man! Great intro, great second part, and all we need is more action and we'll be fine.
9(1/2)/10
Chechen fighter
9:17 pm | November 29, 2003
Geat story and intro. I hope you keep it coming dude. Anyway spice up the weaponary a little for the poor marines like flame throwers, machine guns etc.. I kills me that the Halo never had a machine gun as choice of weaponary. Anyways good start.....
HOLY SH!T
7:16 pm | November 29, 2003
i just found out that in halo 2 you go back to halo because there are still survivers. its in the back of halo first strike the book. thats kool
FOrunnER
5:17 pm | November 29, 2003
9.7/10
FOrunnER
5:17 pm | November 29, 2003
Alright, great story dude. I give this a 9/10. I took of a point because of the lack of action.
Cyclone
5:10 pm | November 29, 2003
Geez. I kinda feel sorry for the Chief in this one.


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