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Comments for 'The fall of New York : part II' |
The Scribe
6:24 pm | November 10, 2003
Thanks, and I'll start reading more of yours.
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the author
1:52 am | November 10, 2003
thanks! i read your stories before i decided to post my own. your stories are cool. I really like them.
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The Scribe
11:35 pm | November 9, 2003
Hey, remember me? Most of you probably don't. But, don't forget, I'm doing stories again. Read the Soul of Steele series. By, the way, nice story, man.
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the author
6:40 pm | November 9, 2003
i changed his name at the request of some other people.
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SOS.Odin
2:19 pm | November 9, 2003
haahah that joke was hilarious
haahah
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Myth
11:24 pm | November 8, 2003
where did bo go who's this jay-guy?
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Making Girls Laugh Makes Me Feel Better
8:14 pm | November 8, 2003
Okay, so a bus crashes, right?
In the crash, 9 people are killed, and they all go to heaven.
At the gates of heaven God is there to meet them and he is very apologetic and says;
"Dear me, I'm sorry guys, you weren't meant to die in that crash, it was a mistake with our computers, I'm really sorry. As compensation I'm going to grant you each a wish.'
So the 1st guy says;
"Well, that crash really disfigured me, so can you make me good-looking?"
God grants his wish.
The 2nd guy says;
"Y'know, I'm not very pleased with what that crash did to my face either, could you make me good-looking?"
God grants his wish.
And it ends up with all of them asking to be made good-looking... until God gets to the 9th guy.
By the time God has reached the 9th, for some reason this guy is pissing himself with laughter.
God asks;
"What do you wish for?"
And the guy laughs and says;
"I want you to make them all ugly again!"
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FOrunnER
5:21 pm | November 8, 2003
Growup, either your on your period or your just a real dick. The comment section is for friendly advice on how to make your stories better, no to put ppl down. If you want to insult ppl, go somewhere else.
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Dispraiser
3:49 pm | November 8, 2003
Please, send this to your English teacher before you post it on here. Ask them for help. Lots of help.
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Growup
8:33 am | November 8, 2003
This made me laugh, thank you so much!
This is the sort of rubbish I can visualise a small child imagining as they play with some action figures.
I'm sorry mate, but your grammar construction is so poor I'm surprised you could managed to read through this without thinking, "Oh hell, who could want to read this?"
No indents, paragraphs, new lines for when a new character talks... tell you what, buy some action figures with the royalities you get from this 'story.'
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Mainevent
11:30 pm | November 7, 2003
Also, Don't forget to use the code.
[indent]Paragraph
I know it can be trouble, but any author who wants to be taken seriously will have to put up with it until they get a better system then the one they have.
Even if you don't want to do that, please hard return at least twice after every five or so sentences.
Also start new paragraphs for every new speaker.
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the author
10:48 pm | November 7, 2003
ok i will thanks for the suggestions now i must decide what happens when the plasma grenade lands..............j/k but thanks for the input.
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Nemesis
10:45 pm | November 7, 2003
well, it was okay, but you still need to pay attention to story structure and length. i posted my suggestions in your first chapter or whatever of this series. read them and try to use them in your story
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