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Comments for 'Nothing to Lose Part III' |
hornet34
10:01 pm | September 5, 2003
Yes, I was trying to create the same environment that was the PoA in Halo. That is why its a Halycon class ship, so people can picture the action in their minds easier. As for getting off the ship, part of what the marines are doing to delay the inevitable takeover of the bridge. Also, they have realised that the Covenant are also going after their crashed escape pods, so its kind of a question of where do you want to make your last stand. As for getting off the ship, that will be addressed with several other concerns in the next couple chapters. Thanks for all the feedback.
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FOrunnER
9:32 pm | September 5, 2003
I think its good. I personally, I dont know whether it was intended or not, got a sort of PoA feeling about it. I've decided not to give ratings anymore and instead say the stories were either, bad, good, or great. Yours was good, I think that they should get off that ship though.
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gruntkiller
4:51 pm | September 5, 2003
very good, i liked it a lot
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gruntkiller
4:51 pm | September 5, 2003
speaking of recomondations, check out fallen angel (by me i consider it to the best i have ever done) and Cry for a Hero by El_halo_diablo which i consider to be the second best series EVER right after Shadows of arcon 1 and 2 by Wado
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hornet34
11:54 am | September 5, 2003
AHHH!!!! Dispraiser, you have finally found my weakness. I can't wait until your next story, I am going to spend hours on every little detail with my grammar book open...when you miss a comma...or the proper nouns...and don't get me started on adverbial clauses... (ramblings slowly fade)
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hornet34
1:26 am | September 5, 2003
Well walker, I must admit you speak true words. With so many pure action fanfics, doing a fight scene that is entertaining and original is just plain hard. I tried to put a little twist in with the elite from the first wave hiding and running out. Plus I stopped it from taking forever by showing through the Sarge's view and having him get hit early on. Oh well. Hey, maybe this will satisfy those people that said I needed more action. Can't please everyone all the time.
I haven't started on the next chapter, today is my heavy load of classes and it keeps me busy. But I plan on introducing a new character soon, and I also got a couple surprises in store.
And I was reading some classics, after I checked on my first story and saw it was already buried in the forties.
Hornet34's Recommendations:
Outlaw series: by Chris Canassi
Great example of what a newbie is capable of.
Under the Sergeant's cap: by Traumitised Marine
Another great example of a person's first story being very good.
Grunt, Elite, ect. Interviews by Gasmask
Comedies that are a nice change from regular fanfics.
Shadow of the Archons part 34: Behind the Scenes... by el_halo_diablo and Wado.
This really isn't part of the series, but is a comedy they put together after making all the other series.
You can find all these great originals and more by simply typing in the author's name in your search box. Enjoy
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Walker
1:17 am | September 5, 2003
pretty good, but the scene when the covies are boarding seems to be the same thing over and over: covies come out, boom, smoke, bang, more covies, boom, smoke, bang, etc. try to vary a bit more... other than that, 9.8/10
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Dispraiser
10:24 pm | September 4, 2003
Heh, just glad I can find something to help you fix.... I couldn't find anything else...
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Dispraiser
10:24 pm | September 4, 2003
I found something! The first little blob of text should be an exclamation point! YES! Remeber, whenever you shout or snap something, !.
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hornet34
9:50 pm | September 4, 2003
Thanks again for the tips on editing.
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Dispraiser
9:36 pm | September 4, 2003
Another coding trick....
[hr]
Something made me miss this one and I asked Wu about it to figure it out, but it is in the list. It will add a bar in your fanfic, a lot better than a line of ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~. Nothing else wrong though.
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