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Comments for 'Protecting What's Yours. Part 1'



hornet34
7:23 am | December 31, 2003
Sorry, Omni, but for all intents and purposes this story probably is dead, partly because if I do write anymore it'll either be to finish another series I've lagged on or to start something new. Hope this doesn't break anyone's heart.
Omniscient
1:09 am | December 25, 2003
Is this thing dead in the water? I really like it, great action sequences. I agree, though, that you shouldn't write for the blood thirsty. The plot and characters are the most important part of a story. Since the last comment on this was posted almost a year ago now, I'm kind of assuming you've stopped work on this story. So I guess I'll go read your other stuff. One think I like about what I've read of your works so far is the combined use of past and present tense. It's rare that someone writes in the present tense, and this can lead to making the story feel like a "summary", however, I feel that using the present tense in certain situations is a great way to get the reader involved in the action. Continue to work with this, I'm not sure if it's even something you do consciously, but it definitely has potential.
hornet34
8:05 pm | January 18, 2003
I ignore people that post under anonymous. Thanks for the feedback, I never meant I would totally abandon the plot for fighting, but you know that. I'll get the next chapter up as soon as possible, I just got back to school.
Dispraiser
3:56 am | January 13, 2003
Keep going with plot. THe bloodthirsty can read all the crap stories here that have lots of blood in them. A plot is more impotant.
moniter101
2:35 am | January 13, 2003
hey guilty spark you noticed that anonymous dipshit I have followed all his comments their just another loser craving attention. The story was good look forward to the next chapter.
Guilty Spark
9:08 pm | January 12, 2003
Often, I find anonymous posts used by those who wish only to flame others. I guess that's why we usually refer to these people as asses. In fact, if you take the first two letters and last two letters of "anonymous", what are you left with?
Bob Lucas
8:33 pm | January 12, 2003
How did you raed if that fast, if there were so many words? Dumbass
Bob Lucas
8:33 pm | January 12, 2003
Bull Shit!
Anonymous
6:47 pm | January 12, 2003
MY INTELLECT IS HIGHER THEN YOURS!!!

I READ THIS STORY IN 1.2 MINUTES!!!
Guilty Spark
4:05 pm | January 12, 2003
Good story. I thought you got into the battle scenes just fine. Excellent descriptions and brief glimpses of emotion. I look forward to your next chapter.

Ignore the "anonymous" critic. Whoever he/she is, they posted the same comment on almost all of the latest fan fic entries. I guess the fool doesn't realize posting times are listed. Many of "anonymous" are only a minute apart - obviously, they didn't actually read the fan fic.
Anonymous
2:57 pm | January 12, 2003
Your story sucked...

It used too many words...
hornet34
5:03 pm | January 11, 2003
let me just say, the next part will include more fighting for you bloodthristy people out there. I had to set up the plot in this part. Give me your thoughts, id appreciate it.


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