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Comments for 'The fall of the covenant brings the rise of a Spartan II Part 1'



Solidus Snake
11:08 am | June 18, 2004
Lmao, yeah he knows about my first fic.
Gemmima
10:50 am | June 18, 2004
Hey, thank 343SB. Think you're right about the chief, though :p

That reminds me, best start on Part 2.
343 Salty Beans
3:56 am | June 18, 2004
I didn't like the Chief's persona. It was odd, mostly because of his tough-talk battle comments. The only person the Chief really throws a little banter around with is Cortana.

So basically, the Chief doesn't have battle slogans. Other than that, pretty neat. I enjoyed the 'recharge' touch with the Covie plasma weapons. I always wondered how they reloaded. Distinct possibility you came up with.

343SB
'Nosolee
9:36 pm | June 17, 2004
WAY more worst than this, lol.
Gemmima
10:39 am | June 17, 2004
Will do. Oh, and thanks for the [indent] comment. Was wondering how to do that :)
Solidus Snake
8:11 pm | June 16, 2004
Ok, I see, and I'm glad you didn't flame me like a lot of new people would do. Got my respects. Oh and don't give up writting, my first story on my other name Alpha Lance was WAY more worst than this, trust me. But if you want a good story, use the pseudocode, keep your story for a few days, check over it make sure it make since. Run it through spell check, HAVE someone else look over it for you. Try not to OVER DUE it on the action, too much action isn't always good. Try to give your readers something to think about instead of a blood thirsty story. And make the story detailed.
Gemmima
10:48 am | June 16, 2004
I've just read through part 1 again, and (if you didn't realise) when the Chief finds Linda and the marines the marines 'reload their weapons'. They'd been fighting the flood before the Chief and Connors got there.
Gemmima
10:33 am | June 16, 2004
hmm...you're right there. The marines didn't fire a shot, but one did actually do someting (the one at the beginning with the Master Chief threw the grenade).I'll remember that for part 2 :)

By the way, it's not harsh, it's creative crytasism (don't know if that's spelt right). Anyway it is only my first story, *hopefully* the second part will be better, if not I'll just give up.

Thanx for the comment anyway.
Solidus Snake
12:25 am | June 16, 2004
Don't use Spartans, because you made it where the Spartans was the only one's to fire a shot. I didn't see one time when a Marine fired their weapons. They're not retarded that don't know how to pull the trigger. But maybe I missed it in the big pile of slop.

Indent . Indent. Indent.

To indent, type [indent] at the beginnng of the line that you want ot indent. Ta daaa.

Plus, this story didn't really flow good and it was boring. Sorry to be harsh. Have a nice day.


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