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Comments for 'Chapter One: Stranded Eagle' |
Walker
8:29 pm | August 29, 2003
cha-ching: 9.5/10
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Tango709
10:32 pm | August 27, 2003
just a note:
don't be deterred from writing by constrcutive critisicm, and this goes to all you new writers: remember, part one is almost always the worst. it's the part where you start, then go back and fix everything in the following parts.
despite what people--i'm not going to mention names *cough*hawk*cough--yell at you for, there are a lot of us who still wanna read your stories.
so keep comitted!
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Arthur Wellesly
6:27 pm | August 25, 2003
Not bad. Some nice action sequences, but it is still missing a few key elements.
First of all, INDENT. If you won't do that, at least space between each paragraph for the reader's sake.
Also, make a new paragraph every time there is a new speaker. Also, I noticed a couple sentences that needed either commas or periods but kept on going, especially in the dialogue.
Fix these errors and I see a promising new series.
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