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Comments for 'End Game: Chapter Two' |
Mr. Bill
5:44 am | May 29, 2003
Ok- I have to explain something to you guys: When Anthony started writing Fan fic, the numbers WERE like this. Fall of Reach had NOT been published, and human ships were made of tinfoil, so the only way they would win was by having lots of them.
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Steele
2:31 pm | April 11, 2003
I give this one a 7.5/10. It was pretty well written. I think(I know its not my story) the numbers were too high. I mean too high. Some would say the same thing about my story, but in mine each side only numbered around 1,000 Capital ships, but a 100,000. That's kinda far out there. If humanity had those numbers, the Covenant would not being doing half as well as they were.
Oh, by the way, why does everyone have to get so offended. This section is designed to help you get better, not insult you(even though somtimes an idiot will get up here and be dumb!).
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TheRedFaction
11:06 am | April 11, 2003
Well, as long nobody is feeding the fires of hatred anymore...
TheRedFaction
Number of Comments: 29
Number of Words: 1600
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Dispraiser
2:13 am | April 11, 2003
I will. I was going to give this story a C- untill I saw what you did to the Constitutionally correct james here. If you want to post something but not see the comments, do not go to the coments section. If you post crap you get crap answers. If you are lucky even if you post good they will give you crap answers because without them your story will keep on sucking. People like you piss me off in times like these. Post in the comments section are getting more critical and if you can't take it don't look at them... E!!! E, E, E. My first (I think) ever E.
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James Kinsella
6:03 pm | April 9, 2003
Why did you waste your time counting them all up?
comments:28 Words:1582
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Dirty Commie
4:01 pm | April 9, 2003
Number of comments:27
Words: 1570
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James Kinsella
11:42 am | April 9, 2003
I was talking about the constitution cause matt had decided that some people should be denied those rights.
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TheRedFaction
11:27 am | April 9, 2003
I also support James, because he was only trying to help give some advice. Of course, it doesn't mean you have to return fire by biting each other's heads off, but at least be thankful for the advice.
Anyway, I enjoyed it, despite a few very minor errors ( wrong verb tense, word choice, spelling, etc.) Still, it wasn't enough to make me too confused.
Matt, maybe James didn't include some suggestions, but that could be because it is, after all, Anthony's story, so pointing a few errors out and then leaving it to the writer to fix it in their own way may be even better than giving your own opinions. Chances are the writer will never consider them.
Nobody is being forced to read this, but if it is their decision, then they have the right to read it and point out any things that may seem impossible.
It's rather unbelievable how people reacted to this single comment. Taking the effort to point something out that may be wrong or impossible is better than just leaving it alone.
Seriously, though, if you can't face the criticism, then don't post anything, don't write any books, don't go on live national TV. Some total idiot out there is gonna start a controversy over it and thenings won't turn up all good and dandy. Today, America's middle name in media is criticism. Anyone who refuses to accept this is either
A: Not an American who understands the media today.
B. Someone in denial
C. If I really have to say anything else, then it's hopeless.
My point is, just accept what people say because they aren't going to change their minds unless they are incredibly gullible. Being realistic is about 90% of writing.
TheRedFaction
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Anthony Coronado
11:27 am | April 9, 2003
LOL. I loved reading that whole argument thing....Anyways, about the one million thing, if you read it right, I believe it said something to the extent of "including the fighters and transports."
Oh, and Commie, it's coming ;)
BTW, why in the FUCK are we talking about the Constitution. I'm tired enough of my Academic Block teacher bitching about it...
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Tank
6:48 am | April 9, 2003
Sigh...
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el_halo_diablo
2:18 am | April 9, 2003
lol I wonder how long this is gunna go :D
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James Kinsella
10:55 pm | April 8, 2003
Actually diablo it wasn't even anthony who was complaining. It was matt. I still agree with the whole, "put up, or shut up" thing, but i was tired of being attacked for no reason.
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el_halo_diablo
10:44 pm | April 8, 2003
no, anthony, there's no problem with you nvm. keep up the work tho.
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el_halo_diablo
10:26 pm | April 8, 2003
Oh and to James and Anthony: Have you guys ever heard of "Put up or shut up" ? Seriously, If soemone gives you a hard time, BLOW THEM OFF, don't make a big deal about it.
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el_halo_diablo
10:24 pm | April 8, 2003
lol Anthony Coronado, I used to have a sail boat that is called a Coronado. freaky.
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Dirty Commie
10:19 pm | April 8, 2003
Now that I've got around to actually reading the story...
I still love this series, though I think an overall, coherent picture of the invasion as it progresses is lacking.
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Dirty Commie
9:38 pm | April 8, 2003
Jesus!
If its THAT big of a deal, just say
"Yeah you're right, I'll downsize the numbers in my next one, but for now I'll keep it like that for simplicity's sake."
or
"Well, that's how I like it, so tough matzo balls."
-He's not changing your whole story.
-If you can't handle criticism (even if it is totally wrong and cruel...which this isn't.) Then don't do anything. Ever.
-There have been numerous posts on numerous stories about that kind of stuff.
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James Kinsella
7:26 pm | April 8, 2003
Still, it's a good point.
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Traumatised Marine
6:47 pm | April 8, 2003
I think what Matt means is that we're carrying the comments away from Anthony's story and onto articles in the American Constitution, which is not good.
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James Kinsella
6:25 pm | April 8, 2003
Of course you're confused. You just went in, guns blazing ready to yell at anyone who had an opinion. Next time scope the situation out first, then yell at people.
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Matt
3:41 pm | April 8, 2003
Now I am confused, whos fan fic is this?
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James Kinsella
12:50 pm | April 8, 2003
Thankyou TM. I needed some support from someone who actually gets the concept of a comments page, and what it's there for.
"Article I.
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."
~The Writers of the Constitution~
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Traumatised Marine
10:42 am | April 8, 2003
James gets my support, he was was just pointing out a negative point. People should be mature enough to be able to read such things and not come raining fiery verbal abuse upon the writer.
And I would have said the same thing, it's terribly easy and tempting to write vast numbers of ships, or soldiers or grunts or whatever, but this can forsake authenticy.
Enjoyable reading it is, although, like James, I would have kept the numbers more realistic.
(Yes I know it's not my fic, but it's the basic purpose of this comments section to make COMMENTS, and you can't expect them to be all praise, that's narrow-minded.)
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James Kinsella
1:50 am | April 8, 2003
Relax. You can say what you want to say and so will I. First amendment, Remember?
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well done
1:46 am | April 8, 2003
shut the fuck up james, this story kicks ass....well done anthony, very impressive, keep it up, and james, back off....
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James Kinsella
1:42 am | April 8, 2003
Honestly, if you don't want me to talk about it then don't post it. I said it was good. I said I liked it. But nooo, you couldn't relax and take it for what it was worth. People had to go and get themselves so enraged over a stupid comment, and start getting bitchy over nothing. I don't even know why you guys give a fuck what I think. I've only submitted seven stories to Fanfiction. I don't see why it has to be such a big deal. I just felt like voicing my opinion and look at all the shit it gets me. Relax, I don't think that in the overall scheme of life that my comment is really gonna matter. Get off the muscle. If you don't like what I think then don't read it. Don't complain about it, just don't read it!!
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Matt
1:30 am | April 8, 2003
Detail is important.
So if you don't like it, then stop reading what you do not like. In other words "SHUT YOUR BIG FUCKING MOUTH AND READ SOMETHING ELSE!"
Constructive critisism is key to shaping a stoy not BITCHING and MOANING." don't just tell someone whats wrong, but tell them why its wrong and give them examples on how to fix it!
DON'T BE A DICK!
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Matt
1:21 am | April 8, 2003
Pretty good stuff, keep it up!
the numbers issue isn't that big of a deal, "James Kinsella" isn't being forced to read it.
however, a SLIGHT and i mean SLIGHT bit more consideration could be given to the amount of forces, especially human forcs, remember the humans have been fighting the Covenant for over 30 years if i remember correctly, add that and the Fall of Reach and you get a somewhat sizable but last-dich effort to save humanity from the brink of destruction on the part of the UNSC. Whatever you do, don't quit.
Can't wait for part 3!
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James Kinsella
1:21 am | April 8, 2003
I wasn't even being too critical. I said the concept was good but I wanted to point out that ALL of this type of story have such unrealistic numbers. Keep writing, but don't get get your panties in a twist if someone has a problem with your style.
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James Kinsella
1:17 am | April 8, 2003
Hey, you had no problem calling my script old and bland and telling me to stop explaining things. So I have no problem telling you that your fiction is unrealistic and pointless. If you don't want the criticim, keep it off the net.
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Anthony Coronado
1:08 am | April 8, 2003
Is this my fanfic or yours? And besides the point, my vision of the future may be different than yours.
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James Kinsella
12:41 am | April 8, 2003
I think the concept is good, but the writing could be better. The numbers on all these types of stories are soooo inflated it hurts. There is no way that there are a 100,000 fighters in the Human fleet, and even more improbable that there are a million ships in the combined fleets. Keep it real or keep it off!!
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