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Comments for 'Death from Above part III: Apocalypse' |
AlphaBravo343
7:42 pm | April 16, 2003
uhhhg, I only said it three times. I said 'moments later' a few times.
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James Kinsella
1:35 am | April 16, 2003
If so then the term NASA is a bit redundant. Either they researched the term Aeronautics, and Space very deeply or we have been calling the agency by a redundant acronym since the beginning.
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Red
5:58 pm | April 15, 2003
Personally, I think that airspace implies aerial actions, and space clearly is an aerial action, but correcting it would improve your story... Seconds later... Seconds later was a little over used, but the last thing you need is to have someone repeat it... I hate being a parrot on these reviews, but on this one don't mind. Good enough to keep it around, but have someone read it over before you submit it.
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James Kinsella
11:58 am | April 15, 2003
Pretty good. I wouldn't call it airspace though. The air space implies that it is in the air above Earth, and if any of those ships were flying that low they would be pulled to the ground by Earth's gravity well. It's not a big deal, just a thought I had about the realism of the story. You might call it Earth's local space. Just a thought
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Steele
11:02 am | April 15, 2003
Pretty good. "Seconds later," did seem to be your favorite pharse though. But other wise pretty good. I give it a 7.5/10 too. Keep it up.
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Spartan-13
5:54 pm | April 14, 2003
it was good...you seemed to use "seconds later" a lot, which was kinda repetive, still, so far so good, 7.5/10, keep writing
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