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Comments for 'Forerunners'



pooman
10:50 pm | September 28, 2003
good!
Alpha Lance
8:04 pm | September 26, 2003
Thanks everyone, thank you Jamirus even that you gave me a 4. But you actually read my poem, didn't you.
Jamirus99
7:30 pm | September 26, 2003
Yeah Elfstre, lemme get that link too. I'm a great proofreader.

On the other hand, I must be the odd man out here: 4/10.
Gasmask
1:55 am | September 26, 2003
Very nice...Gothic, in a good way. Slightly reminded me of Poe.
Alpha Lance
11:00 am | September 25, 2003
Where is everyone???
Frensa Geran
3:05 am | September 25, 2003
Elfster, what's the web address to the chapter?
SOS.Odin
2:22 am | September 25, 2003
I reckon it was perty good alpha
not too many grammar probs
9/10
Ishkabibbl
1:44 am | September 25, 2003
For me my mind auto-corrects most minor grammer mistakes, poem was just spiffin.
Walker
1:10 am | September 25, 2003
A limk to that would be beneficial for a lot of us, Elfster, if you could provide. Alpha, this was another great piece, but like Elfster said, poor grammar jams the flow of the story. 9.25/10

Semper Fi

-Walker
crashedwarthog
12:41 am | September 25, 2003
hmmm, can i join, elfster? that'd be kewl as...

newayz gr8 poem alpha lance, just give it a proof read bb4 u send it. 9/10
Alpha Lance
8:09 pm | September 24, 2003
Thanks everyone.

I'll think about it, Elfster.
Elfster
2:36 pm | September 24, 2003
Infact, what I think you should do is join my 7th Column chapter, its for fan fic writers to hang out, give feedback or collaborate on eachother's stories. I'll get you a link if you're interested.
Elfster
2:27 pm | September 24, 2003
Its a fantastic poem but I still cant stress this enough:

CHECK IT BEFORE YOU SUBMIT IT.

All your stories, while having good plots, have bad grammar, and bad grammar jams the flow of the story because you have to stop and think:

"What's that word supposed to be?"

And so it really takes away from the story.

You're getting better, definetly, but i think you should show your story to another fellow fan fic writer, like Agent Shade, Steele, Nosolee, Sarge B, me, whoever you trust, before submitting it. Even professional fan fic writers do that, because when you write a story, you're the one who wrote it, you know what all the wording means, you understand it just fine because its your idea, so you sometimes miss alot of spelling errors, and then you post them and everyone ELSE reads them and they see the obvious that you miss, thats where the term "The errors only pop up AFTER you submit it" comes from.

Hope my advice helps =)
Wiley
1:28 pm | September 24, 2003
Not bad, not bad.
this gets an 8.75/10
Sergeant B
10:21 am | September 24, 2003
GOODGOODGOODJOB!


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