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Comments for 'Prophet of Love Part II' |
Nick Kang
1:21 pm | May 1, 2004
Yeah that's exactly what I thought.
NK
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Mainevent
11:22 am | April 30, 2004
I always thought that if he was gonna have a relationship, it'd be with Kelly. Linda is too much of a loner.
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343winks
10:28 pm | April 28, 2004
To Nick Kang: Yeah, you're right. It did jumped around a little bit, but I didn't want it to seem too monotonous like "They killed that grunt" or "Then they jumped three feet." But I do take your criticism on a high note and will improve in my next story or sometime in the future. Thanks for reading.
To DragonReborn: 1.)Yes, I have read First Strike (ten times),but some of the talking in my story are mental thoughts. Now unless Brutes can read minds, I don't think they knew. 2.)Everyone has been telling me about how MC is too sophisticated to ever have a love relaton, but I thought it would be interesting if there was. 3.) The Titanium-A plate was actually debre from a battle ship. I don't think the UNSC had time to scavage for these "peices of ships." 4.) Yes, the story did sound a little odd and that will be fixed in my later stories. I thrive on criticism and the more I get the more I improve. Thank you for your thoughts and reading my stories.
To Steveo: Finally, someone agrees with me on this. I tought this ever since I read TFOR. Thank you for reading.
To Riley 217: Thank you for reading. Improvements you shall get.
To all, thank you for your time in reading my first story. I will try harder in making your reading more pleasurable.
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Riley217
7:30 pm | April 28, 2004
OH Kay, um interesting. Aren't some for you being a little harsh? Sure there is room for improvments, but you know. I see nothing wrong with a relationship. What the Chief is not allowed to like someone. Geez!!!!!
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Nick Kang
3:48 pm | April 28, 2004
It was pretty good. Although you kinda just jumped into some things and didn't take much time to explain them in full detail.
NK
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DragonReborn
8:42 pm | April 27, 2004
I liked it, but I did notice many things were wrong. First off, brutes can tell where you are by hearing your COM chatter. Ever read First Strike? Second, John and Linda are really good friends. I doubt they are much more than that, and them loving eachother might compromise alot of their missions. Third, the UNSC wouldn't leave a hunk of Titanium A battle armor lying on the ground. They need all of it they can get to make warships to fight the covenant. Also, it was just kinda odd sounding to me. I agree with Cold that nobody here is an Eric Nylund. The words in his books kind of blend together to make everything perfect. I feel you used some adjectives to much. But other than that, I thought it was great and look forward to reading your next story(or addition to this?).
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Steveo
8:20 pm | April 27, 2004
Cool story. It wasnt just me that noticed linda an the chief's affection then.
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CoLd BlooDed
10:46 pm | April 26, 2004
No problem, it doesn't matter if you're no Eric Nylund, alot of us in Fan Fiction aren't, besides, it's for fun. :)
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343winks.
6:12 pm | April 26, 2004
Thanks Cold Blooded. I'll take in considerartion of what you've said. I haven't written in a long time so I need a little boost. I'll fix the format and I may publish it cause I like this story alot. But hey, I am no Eric Nylund. Thanks. :-)
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343winks.
6:12 pm | April 26, 2004
Thanks, Cold. I'll take what you said into consideration. I forgot to re-read my story before I submitted it
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CoLd BlooDed
1:57 pm | April 26, 2004
It was three big - but unneccessary - paragraphs. It's a new paragraph when someone is speaking. Take that into consideration.
Otherwise, it was good, but not great. I liked it so fix the format up and I'll be reading more of your stuff.
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