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Comments for 'Derelict, Shadows of Threshold: Prologue' |
The Collector
8:51 pm | March 11, 2004
Damn tranq then shot. They are pretty merciful soldiers lol Your story has great potential but its a lil choppy
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Mazzepa
2:35 pm | March 10, 2004
I liked it. The author really got a sense of urban warfare, but it had the firepower of a nuclear one. One suggestion though, try to spend longer describing twists of fate. When the Skyhawks collided, it had a short, brief explanation of why. As long as your doing what you like, writing stories, then you will improve inevitably.
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phalanx3580
8:26 pm | March 9, 2004
i agree with Master grunt that would just be a waste of a dart unless they wanted to get information out of it, but then why shoot it.
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Thomas Harper
1:21 pm | March 9, 2004
o wait my bad i posted my comment on the wrong one. oops srry. i just read ur story though and i thought that it was pretty good. keep it up. =:)
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Thomas Harper
12:47 pm | March 9, 2004
......................um.............. i dont no it was well.................um.............its hard to explain.
well first of all the plot was differnt and the format was kinda weird. but just wait to see what everyone else says maybe they will disagree with em u never no.
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Mastergrunt
2:28 am | March 9, 2004
I got confused on why they would tranquilize the grunt and then shoot it instead of just shooting it. It really doesn't make sense
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