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Sherveen Mashayekhi
9:18 pm | January 25, 2004
No problem, Im a-OK with critizism, as long as it makes sense. *cough*alpha*cough*lance*cough*
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Alpha Lance
12:51 pm | January 25, 2004
Nope, not good.
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CoLd BlooDed
7:20 am | January 25, 2004
Usually with poems it rhymes or it doesn't, you can't just rhyme and then not, it doesn't work. I don't mean to be harsh cause I don't think that was a problem with your poem.
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Sherveen Mashayekhi
1:34 am | January 25, 2004
LoLz. Is my site not beautiful to you? :D
CoLd BlooDed, I didnt really want all of it to rhyme.
Alpha Lance, thanks for that elaborate comment. *rolls eyes*
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CoLd BlooDed
9:58 pm | January 24, 2004
The rhyme scheme is off, and another thing:
"2" and "too" don't rhyme, they sound exactly the same, that kinda ruined it for me. But otherwise it was mediocre, if it was your first poem... 6/10
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Seketh
8:53 pm | January 24, 2004
Simple, but nice. Try to do something deeper and beatiful.
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Sherveen Mashayekhi
7:14 pm | January 24, 2004
No comments? :'(
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