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Comments for 'Halo 2:The Invasion' |
Elite ZOV
3:59 am | May 9, 2004
God, I'm hella stupid..sorry again.
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Elite ZOV
3:57 am | May 9, 2004
So am I. :)Sorry for miss spelling "already" i was kinda in the hurry.
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Elite ZOV
3:57 am | May 9, 2004
So am I(need the grammar ckeck). :) Sorry for miss spelling "already" I was kinda in the hurry.
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Elite ZOV
3:52 am | May 9, 2004
Yo, is this the true script of HALO 2, or its just another fic. Couse it sounds so right. Of course, the part when he wakes up, and he is IN the ship alweady, this is what I don't get it.
But not bad, need the grammar check though.(Such as spaces, etc.)
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Hikaru-119
5:53 pm | May 4, 2004
That last bit with the shields. I just read the Fall of Reach and the shields drop around the turret itself, not the whole ship. So the Chief would have to be pretty close to one of those turrets. None the less we should hear how he got on instead of just magically being there.
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Nick Kang
11:24 am | May 3, 2004
Uhhhhh...yeah. What Main said.
P.S. You need to put a space after each comma and two spaces after punctuation.
NK
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Hawk7886
1:26 am | May 3, 2004
"The Chief opened his eyes and was on a Covenant hallway? How did this happen? Did he crawl through a vent? blow a hole inside the ship? How did he get inside? And as for the ship having no shields? Good luck. Maybe they were dropped by a MAC, but as for not having any? Highly unlikely. Especially with the Covenant."
As stated in the books, the Covenant ships have to drop their shields before firing their main weapons.
While an amazing bit of luck might let the Chief slide through just as they fire, it's still possible.
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Helljumper
12:36 am | May 3, 2004
Hikaru spits the truth bitches
ODST
Damn right we some cocky bastards.
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Mainevent
10:24 pm | May 2, 2004
Hikaru knows what he's talking about. Listen to him and you should be okay. As for my input..*looks to Hikaru.* He covered it.
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Hikaru-119
8:45 pm | May 2, 2004
Seeing as I have already written a Halo 2 fan fic(and I am almost finished, yipee), I have some critical comments for you. So take some notes.
First off I noticed you had no date, not a big miss, but I like knowing when people think something is going to happen.
You said that a Covenant flag ship was coming up from below the Chief. The Halo 2 Announcement trailer had Covenant Cruisers, not Flag ships. I also noticed that later on you corrected yourself, but that shows a lack of cohesion in the story.
Next you have the Elite point of view thing going on. Very "The Flood"-ish sounding. Problem is the Covenant generally never saw the Spartans. And when ever they did the Covenant died without the Spartans leaving a trace other than spent bullet casings and bodies. Plus " The Immortal One. " Highly unlikely to be calling a human, even if he is a bit of a super human, " The Immortal One ". Especially from the Covenant. Moving on.
The Battle Rifle fires a larger bullet then a 7.62x51mm shot. Can't remember what it does fire, but I know it is bigger.
The Chief opened his eyes and was on a Covenant hallway? How did this happen? Did he crawl through a vent? blow a hole inside the ship? How did he get inside? And as for the ship having no shields? Good luck. Maybe they were dropped by a MAC, but as for not having any? Highly unlikely. Especially with the Covenant.
Crash landed on the command deck? The command deck is in the very freaking center of Covenant ships according to Bungie, as where a command deck should be.
A Brute falling from one hit from the Chief to its leg? HA! That is a joke. Brutes take a helluva lot of abuse, even from a Spartan.
Also why the hell would Cortana abandon the controls? I'd think she'd vent the atmosphere on the ship and save the Chief a whole lot of trouble. Plus this is a cruiser, not a flag ship that already had some kick ass weapons. These are not as great and effiecent, even though Cortana could make them more so. Just not to the point that you have it. Now that is just story line stuff.
You need to make your paragraphs more obvious, and if those were paragraphs then those are huge. Also you need to add detail and depth to your story. It was way too fast and look like you wrote in a few sittings instead of actually sitting it out for hours on end for a week or two at a time planning out everything and putting insane amounts of detail into your work.
One more thing. Legendary mode. That is the level which the war is really at. You would get this impression if you read through the Fall of Reach and First Strike carefully and slowly, instead of rushing through it. I recommend you play some Legenadry mode for a while and get a real feel for the way the Covenant will act in combat.
Well I hope you read all of that. Good luck with your next section. God willingly you took notes from that which I pointed out and will improve upon your writing. For other notes and ideas on a Halo 2 story just look for my series " The Fallen: Halo 2 " People seem to like it. Well good luck to you.
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Giovanni Bryden
5:08 pm | May 2, 2004
Fucking-A man. That shit was good. Except you kinda overexposed your ego there for a sec, buddy. Make sure to add me to the next one...or ill kick your ass at school.
-Love, Gio
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Helljumper
3:07 pm | May 2, 2004
fine with me
ODST
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