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Comments for 'Battle of New Lexington' |
Noah610 (author)
4:53 pm | June 14, 2004
YOU ALL SUCK ASS!
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Noah610
8:22 pm | April 28, 2004
one last thing it is not descriptive enough because I put it in the over view of a school student doing a history report as are all my fanfics.
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Noah610
8:17 pm | April 28, 2004
You see the war against the Zerg ended 5 years before the war with the Covenent but some one has been trying to breed the Zerg again the Covenent seeing that humans are not an insult against their gods because they found a tablet which was planted by Guilty Spark so he could watch the chaos have sided with them (except for a few fanatic groups like Speaking Mouth) Guilty Spark seeing the Zerg as a chance to create more chaos in the universe for his amusment has joined with the Overmind and that is where this story begins because you see the city of New Lexington is the last human stronghold on Char if the Zerg destroy that they claim Char.
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Noah610
8:15 pm | April 28, 2004
oh and Black~Ghost please save me the torture and change your name I hate Cyborg 009 you must be some king of moron to like that peice of Anime Wannabe CRAP!
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Noah610
8:04 pm | April 28, 2004
Thanks for the comments I'll revise it look for the revise version in the future. But you must all understand I wrote this over the corse of 3 days in school so I couldn't really pay attention to my Fan Fic but for those of you who liked it thanks for reading for those of you who didn't GET BENT ASSWIPES!
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Noah610
8:04 pm | April 28, 2004
Look out for my next fiction Battle for Monbosna which I think is better in the next one I went into the whole Holocaust thing and had the Protoss play the role of the Jews look out for it... June 12, 2004
This Fiction is not yet Rated
(MGM Studios with a Covenent Brute in the middle roaring and Noah610 Studios written around the side)
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Connie
12:00 am | April 12, 2004
I agree with BlackGhost
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BlackGhost
10:41 pm | April 11, 2004
By all means please save us the torture by having to read another one of these . . . things. Please don't write anymore until you get better.
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Burny
8:09 pm | April 10, 2004
Yea, this was crap.
1. I've never played SC.
2. A huge-ass block of text scares the shittles out of me.
3. Not descriptive enough
Overall: 1.5/10
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Wiley
7:48 pm | April 10, 2004
Harsh, Helljumper, harsh
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Helljumper
7:01 pm | April 10, 2004
I thought it was crap
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LordofDestruction
6:36 pm | April 10, 2004
Damn, beat me too it. Oh well, i just need to hurry with my standing Fics so i can get started on my Halo/starcraft crossover.
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Mainevent
4:37 pm | April 10, 2004
I love Starcraft and Halo. Was thinking of a crossover myself. Too many other things going on right now to do that though.
Oh and the trench thing was probably from the opening scene of Brood War, with the marine in the trenches that are being overrun with zerg. Out of ammo and severely outnumbered. Dugalle above in a Battlecruiser surveys it and leaves.
I memorized that scene. It's very powerful. Perhaps the reasoning behind the trench setting. I wouldn't know I haven't read it yet. From the reviews, I probably won't.
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Wiley
12:57 pm | April 10, 2004
Crud, you beat me to writing one of these...I just started a Halo/Starcraft crossover last night...
But I have to agree with MT. it was almost like an overview of the battle, like one a General or Admiral would read at the end of the battle. You need too get personal, and, like MT said, focus on specific characters. Some explination of why the two universes crossed would also be a good thing.
Final score: 8.2/10
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MT
10:01 am | April 10, 2004
Oh, this just won't do.
I never usually comment on pieces like these but since it's a Halo/StarCraft cross over, I just had to.
I suggest a complete revision if you're sticking with the history text. In that case, I ask you to look into your numbers and place names. Oh, and pargraphs and indents wouldn't hurt.
It's just like reading a mission/battle scenario for SC. An impossible scenario, but a scenario nonetheless. Heck, you barely scraped the Halo theme with just adding Guilty Spark, Flood, Covenant and the Marines. It was basically a over inflated SC battle with a few more types of troops in the foray.
Personally, I would prefer a more intimate portrayal of the battle. I would love reading about a Marine in the middle of it all, fighting in it all. You can change perspective, build character and set a pace people can get into.
Tone down your story settings and get descriptive. I actually like the 'trench' set up. I don't know if you intentionally wanted the themes/horrors of WWI, but I've always been interested in trench warfare. I've actually been throwing around the idea of a sf short story set in a trench warfare style. It's nothing to do with Halo, or even StarCraft, so I won't go into it.
I can actually see "Battle of New Lexington" to be a good cross over. A short story might not encompass it all, but you can definately put the whole novel in chapter form. You just need to put some serious work into it.
Sorry, but I love both games with a passion, so I just had to comment.
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MT
10:01 am | April 10, 2004
Oh, this just won't do.
I never usually comment on pieces like these but since it's a Halo/StarCraft cross over, I just had to.
I suggest a complete revision if you're sticking with the history text. In that case, I ask you to look into your numbers and place names. Oh, and pargraphs and indents wouldn't hurt.
It's just like reading a mission/battle scenario for SC. An impossible scenario, but a scenario nonetheless. Heck, you barely scraped the Halo theme with just adding Guilty Spark, Flood, Covenant and the Marines. It was basically a over inflated SC battle with a few more types of troops in the foray.
Personally, I would prefer a more intimate portrayal of the battle. I would love reading about a Marine in the middle of it all, fighting in it all. You can change perspective, build character and set a pace people can get into.
Tone down your story settings and get descriptive. I actually like the 'trench' set up. I don't know if you intentionally wanted the themes/horrors of WWI, but I've always been interested in trench warfare. I've actually been throwing around the idea of a sf short story set in a trench warfare style. It's nothing to do with Halo, or even StarCraft, so I won't go into it.
I can actually see "Battle of New Lexington" to be a good cross over. A short story might not encompass it all, but you can definately put the whole novel in chapter form. You just need to put some serious work into it.
Sorry, but I love both games with a passion, so I just had to comment.
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