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Comments for 'Liberties Bell:The Battle that changed Draco 3:Part 1'



Red Ghost
2:20 am | July 16, 2004
W..what? Small plastic oars? No just kidding. Well, everyone else has said everything that matters...so...I'm just going to blah blah blah myself away down a river and maybe try to figure out how the hell to get to the bottom of Halo's cliffs...freakin' cliffs.
Wiley...
12:07 am | July 16, 2004
heh...funny dave
Dave Luck
10:01 pm | July 15, 2004
KilltheMonitor, if you believe that a story doesn't need to have grammar or a story line, then you are a n00b.

Also, a story line is everything! Grammar is the way you convey it. Read this:

A panda walks into a bar and eats, shoots and leaves.

A panda walks into a bar and eats shoots and leaves.

See the difference?

- Dave.
Mainevent
6:36 pm | July 15, 2004
If you write your story in Word, then write it with indents in it.

Then, when you get done, click on Edit, scroll down to Replace.

When that box comes up, enter ^t into the Look For: box, and [indent] into the Replace With: box
Elitehunter676
6:32 pm | July 14, 2004
Yeah and to everyone, the next chapter will have more action, but you'll have to wait untill the third chapter to get any real heavy action.(Which by the way I'm trying to make as realistic as possible, trust me you'll like it.) But bare with me untill then. Oh and by the way russ, sorry but I hadn't figured out the code by the time I wrote my second chapter so it won't be there, but I do have quotations and paragraphs. So thanks for the advice everyone, out.
Elitehunter676
6:32 pm | July 14, 2004
Also, I'd like to ask everyone here. Do you like long or short chapters? Just curious, Chap. 2 is kinda short. Keep the comments coming.
cowyboy987
5:04 pm | July 14, 2004
i think its a great story kid, but keep the paragraphs seperated. im really curiouse as to see what those flares are for, and its one of the few stories that gave me a good picture of the seroundings and the envrioment. plus add alittle more action in your next chapters if you can. DO NOT STOP THE STORY
Bebop
5:02 pm | July 14, 2004
make more spaces and more quotes marks budd, and this story will be great.


7.5/10
Sgt. Stacker
5:40 am | July 14, 2004
russ you tell it all bro, you totaly tell it all. if you dont become a author at all Elite, then just play the game and learn more about Halo, you dont have to be good at it all to be good at halo, but do rember that if your on this web site and your giveing it a try on writting, then your good enough to write stories and show them off, even if they suck or are the best.

-Sgt. Stacker
russ687
5:24 am | July 14, 2004
See your bro's comment page, it applies here as well. Playing the game over and over will not give you special advatages here in fanfic. In fact, to be totally honest (I'm going to regret this), Halo is not the thing that drives me to write fiction. I do it here on HBO and about Halo becuase I like being able to share my work and look at others. While it is fun to write about Halo, that's not nessicarily the only reason I do write (Tom Clancy style is also a favorite of mine; the settings and scenarios's). My point is that you need more then just hours looged on the ol' 'Box. you need a motivation to write in general; that's where the good stuff comes from.

Okay, who's gonna take the first punch at this not quite 100% Halo lover?

K.O.
hunter killa
2:11 am | July 14, 2004
I'm with quickandtheddead, add alittle mo action and mo spaces in yo writtin, otherwise its great, and killthemonitor, good job for sticking up for your bro, but think of nica ways to do it(dont let yo anger get in it) and good job on applogisin(I know thats hard for a someone to do lol)
TheQuickandtheDEAD
2:09 am | July 14, 2004
good story but just alittle more action, plus make a space bettween thoughts and when people talk in your writting, so its easser to read
make more
M6DKICKASS
2:09 am | July 14, 2004
use alittle mo discribing verbs to show what its like around the battle field, and seperate the paragraphs more
KilltheMonitor
12:36 am | July 14, 2004
now that i have cooled off alittle im truley sorry too, i was just a little mad that i spent 4 days on a story and so did elite, and it turned out shitty. i was just angry at the time, please forgive me.
Elitehunter676
9:57 pm | July 13, 2004
I'm sorry about my brother, he's kinda pshyco. And thank you very much for the help. Trust what my brother said, that's not what I thought, he said that when I was in the other room. He's just that way, And could you possibly help him with his story.
Vengeance
8:35 pm | July 13, 2004
Put your talking in Quotations like this... "Go go go! Haul ass Marines." That way, it makes it easier to tell when someones talking.
russ687
8:06 pm | July 13, 2004
For starters, KilltheMonitor, there's no way to tell if an author is good unless 1) you know them or 2) they are good writers. In this story it was plain to see that it needed at lot of work; and because I don't know him, I'm going to assume he needs help.

Also, Elitehunter676, I'm glad that you asked what I was talking about. The code is a set of parameters that affect the stories you write when you post them on HBO. For example:

If you're using Word and it looks like there are indents on it, they won't show up when you post because the system does not recognize any special effects done to the text through Word. You must put in a code for the system to recognize you want to indent, or bold, or whatever.

[indent] to indent: put immeadiately before the line you want to indent.

The rest are listed off of the fanfic sombmission form (?), sombody correct me if I'm wrong.

Next time you get a comment, how about the whole family doesn't show up screaming, okay? Take your comments properly and try to fix the mistake. Becasue if you don't, you will get a lot more comments like my first one.
KilltheMonitor
7:26 pm | July 13, 2004
screw you russ, i think this is a great series, plus what do you know, a story dosn't have to have perfect grammer or the best story line, what it dose need is a good author behind the story, an author that is truly into Halo and Halo 2, and I am Elitehunter676s' brother, so screw you, if you have anything else you want to say about it, then wait until the next chapter.

-KilltheMonitor
Elitehunter676
7:26 pm | July 13, 2004
What's this code that you keep taking about, and could you give me some friendly advice, not digrade me.
russ687
5:38 pm | July 13, 2004
The largest battle ever, eh? I suggest you take some writing classes or have somebody who has look at your work before you submit it to HBO. Also, I suggest that you look at other people's stories to get an idea about what to do and what not to do if your clueless.
Ummm...No
5:13 pm | July 13, 2004
Ummm...No.


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