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Comments for 'Fire Team Echo: Darkest Hours: Chapter III' |
Dark-NiTe
1:08 am | May 27, 2004
Thanks Darkest, it helps me a lot.
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Darkest90
2:02 pm | May 21, 2004
Try... 8th grade student...
I just love writing, and I know everything about it.
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Darkest90
11:13 am | May 20, 2004
"The sky was still a dark dusk blue as lightning spidered across its arial canvas."
See that is what I am talking about. That was a beautiful sentence, described perfectly. Good job.
Anyway, I made a list of the errors you made, just making sure you know.
Arial should be aerial.
You put tems instead of teams in the third paragraph.
Comrads should be comrades.
Landscpae should be landscape.
Somthing should be something.
Disconserting should be disconcerting.
Occured should be occurred.
Frieght should be freight.
Weakeness should be weakness.
Extatic should be ecstatic.
Run your story through spellchecker when you are done writing it.
Cool,
Darkest90
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Darkest90
11:06 am | May 20, 2004
Wow! Nice... Dark Nite, getting better and better!
This story had an excellent tone and sense of viewpoint to it. The characters seemed real and three-dimensional. The action flowed very smoothly and there wasn't one moment when you were bored or overwhelmed.
Nite, I have to hand it to you on your vocabulary. Very nice use of words. Also, I didn't find one sentence in there that was cheesy, overused, or didn't explain what it was meant to explain.
Plus, I like the plot, you gotta love the simple stories like these when they are done right. By simple I mean good, because you took a cliche plot (a bunch of marines attacking or defending something) and turned it around.
Some things you need to keep working on: Remember that, in your stories, you need to spell out numbers that are under 100, that are multiples of 100 (like 700 or 1100). I think there was only one spelling/grammatical error I found, but I can't remember what it was, I'll find it for you.
Anyway, thanks for the read!
- Darkest90
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Helljumper
1:30 am | May 20, 2004
Yea what he said, Darkest must be an english teacher
ODST
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Helljumper
2:29 pm | May 19, 2004
Good story, keep it up
ODST
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