halo.bungie.org

They're Random, Baby!

Fan Fiction


Comments for 'Oleander's Stand'



Hawk7886
9:03 am | April 25, 2004
Paragraphing each sentence isn't the best technique to use...

It's spelt "C-h-i-e-f"
MT
6:48 am | April 25, 2004
Nice story about sacrifice and hope.

Descriptive beginnings, and sweet character build. The action sequences were well explained.
Your tone and pacing was OK, but for a story like this, should have been better. You did lead me pretty good, though.

The portrayal involvement with the Master Chief was great. It was actually better than most fan fics solely about the Chief.

Your concentration on the Marine was clearly the best point in the story. Maybe you should have added to that sense of fear and cowardice to make the last part that much more powerful and poignant. Actually, I was thinking about writing a cowardly Lieutenant for my next piece.

Thank you for the read.
Conrad
3:30 am | April 25, 2004
Whoa. What a good story! Short, good vocabulary and plenty of realistic death! Although it would be good if Oleander survived...oh well. 9.5/10 from me. (I took 0.5 off because the main character died)
FOrunnER
7:08 pm | April 24, 2004
Very good. Short, yet with a powerful message.
The REAL Nick Kang
2:11 pm | April 24, 2004
This was a very good story. Good detail and well-explained battle sequences.

NK
The REAL Nick Kang
1:19 pm | April 24, 2004
Shawn, ya know, you're not fooling anyone(okay, except the people that don'y know you.).

NK
Nick Kang
1:12 pm | April 24, 2004
ur story is horrible i cant believe you wrote it! Dumb Faget


bungie.org
brr!