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Comments for 'In Darkness They Hunt' |
Nick Kang
9:30 pm | May 18, 2004
Woah...it looks like someone needs to work on their math. I won't say any names, right some random hooker?
And in Halo, the Chief is 41 or somat.
NK
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Mainevent
9:03 pm | May 16, 2004
2700-2500=200 years
And the overshield is a Covenant tool, not a human tool. Used for Elites to enhance their shields.
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some random hooker
6:45 pm | May 16, 2004
ok why do the humans need over shields if the only people in the human race who use shields are spartans. The year is 27somethin and the chief was 50 i think in 2552 sooo.. that would make him like 70 in 27somehtin and he would be to old to fight probobly. Or hed be dead. Anyway, all im saying is why do the h=humans need overshields and camoflage if they have no shields to put them on.
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CoLd BlooDed
1:53 pm | May 14, 2004
Well, brush that aside. Seriously, just listen to what Darkest90 said; grammar, spelling, and punctuation is what makes a story good. Not just violence, and that's all I see in Conrad's stories, and not really a plot... or one that I can see yet. Who knows, maybe he'll surprise us all and I'll really get into this series! Otherwise, it's not working for me right now, so please keep trying. :)
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Slayer Boi
9:41 am | May 14, 2004
OK let me rephrase what i meant. u are fousing too much on the gramatical crap that could be done multiple ways and it is done a different way to what you were thinking of. i realize i made an ass of myself. I was in a bad mood. But, with my english teacher, could u blame me? i dont like focusing on grammer because it makes me feel like *shudder* Mrs. Smith
TGC/Connie/Conrad Lauf knows what i mean.
SHE IS A COW!!!
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Darkest90
3:34 am | May 14, 2004
Hey, I it was only constructive criticism. Don't feel bad about it.
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Nick Kang
12:11 am | May 14, 2004
Actually I'm writing a story where I give the Covies their own names. And Darkest, I didn't mean to insult you(if I did).
NK
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CoLd BlooDed
7:03 am | May 13, 2004
Well you should've explained that. Like I said, describe the setting, that's a mistake on your part.
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The Author
5:45 am | May 13, 2004
THE REASON I GAVE THE COVENANT SCREWS WAS BECAUSE THE STORY WAS SET IN AN EX-HUMAN STRONGHOLD! NOW IS EVERYONE HAPPY?
(relaxed sigh)
see yez
TGC
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CoLd BlooDed
4:57 am | May 13, 2004
Exactly.
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Darkest90
3:34 am | May 13, 2004
Nick Kang, I was just trying to help and give my own advise. I meant nothing bad against the fic.
As for what the Covies use, if the writer wants laser staples, give them laser staples. It just seems irrational that the covenant would use screws.
As for the 'corny alien' comment, I guess that is right. I wouldn't want people naming the grunts 'Xchatlbixcats'. But I keep the same opinion. If people think enough, they can give a good alien name.
@ Slayer Boi
That is a rather unwise remark. Writing is about grammar, spelling, and delivery. Without that, a story wouldn't be understandable or good. Real writers spend years trying to hone their craft of writing well, and if you are telling me to just IGNORE how writing is done, then it isn't writing any more.
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Elite Zov
6:34 pm | May 12, 2004
Oh God, not again. I misspelled "good". Why Do I always have a bad luck, huh? Well, I try not to make the same mistakes again.
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Elite Zov
6:27 pm | May 12, 2004
I hate to say this, but I agree with CoLd BlooDed.
Most people DO like to see goog grammar, and just like me, we all need to spend more time on our stories.
But I still like the story. Pretty nice.
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CoLd BlooDed
1:42 pm | May 12, 2004
We're here to make people learn more about writing and on how to do it properly. Not just because we like to do it, me especially, I like to write as well as read and pick things out that don't belong. So don't tell us to not focus on grammar, 'cause that's what critics should do.
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CoLd BlooDed
11:33 am | May 12, 2004
So "Elite" isn't going to be "elite".
My bad, but my point is the same.
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CoLd BlooDed
11:31 am | May 12, 2004
You can also say that they (being Elite, Grunt, Jackal, etc) are just distinguishing ranks. You don't see people going around saying "corporal" but "Corporal". So "Elite" isn't going to be "Elite".
Problem solved. :) :P
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Nick Kang
10:28 am | May 12, 2004
The story may be good, but good grammar makes a good story even better.
NK
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Slayer boi
6:39 am | May 12, 2004
heh maybe it is just me but u guys are focusinbg on gramatical crap instead of the story. who gives a damn whether it is elite or Eliet or even 3l1t3 or L33t. Great story connie
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Nick Kang
9:43 pm | May 11, 2004
Yeah that's kinda like sayin
"Human is an improper noun and therefore is not capitalized."
Come on, people! It's the name of a race of aliens. It doesn't matter if it's a proper or improper noun! Is 'cat' capitalized? No. How about 'dog?' No. But 'Human' is, and what is a Human? A race of beings. Same as Grunts, Jackals, etc.
NK
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CoLd BlooDed
1:57 pm | May 11, 2004
You can do both, the books refer to Covenant soldiers capatilized, as do I and many other people.
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The Author
8:31 am | May 11, 2004
Actually, elites, grunts, jackals, hunters and prophets are improper nouns, like cat, dog etc.
On the other hand, names like John, Brad, Jane etc. are proper nouns, and therefore have capitals at the start of their names.
Also, I dont own an Xbox or Halo(yet!), and thus have to rack my memory for colours of Covie blood, weapon names etc, which is why those things may be slightly inaccurate.
See yez l8er
TGC
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Nick Kang
12:50 am | May 11, 2004
Dude, Darkest, I think you're taking this entire FanFic thing a BIT too seriously. A lot of people prefer to call the aliens by their respective Human names because they don't want to think up a corny alien name. And in the fanfic, authors think up their own small details such as screws...I mean...what would the Covies use? Laser staples or something?
NK
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Snake Solid 117
12:39 pm | May 10, 2004
Cool. I like dthe story quite a bit. Although that green Elite thing was odd, but what the hell. Well written though, good job.
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Darkest90
9:02 pm | May 9, 2004
Maybe one of the Hunters is an oddball, an outcast or something?
Sometimes errors in your writing can make the best colors to your plot.
Question: Screws, ever the staple resource of human construction, probably wouldn't show up in the Covenant. I mean, what are the chances of two different races developing screws? Unless this supply world was once a human colony world, they shouldn't have that.
Furthermore, Elites don't call themselves 'Elites'. Likewise, Hunters don't call themselves 'Hunters'. Those are names the humans gave to them. Give these alien races respectable alien names.
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CoLd BlooDed
9:00 pm | May 9, 2004
It was good, but some of your grammar and spelling was off. I also want to see details, lots and lots of details, that's what make stories great. And yes, listen to Helljumper, you NEED to describe the setting, atmosphere, etc.
Elites, Jackals, Grunts, Hunters, Brutes, and Prophets are all capatilized. Plus, Elites don't have pink blood, they have dark purple blood. I don't know if that was a typo, so I'm just telling you now.
Start using the code, please. But anyways, fix all that stuff up and you'll be fine.
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Helljumper
8:22 pm | May 9, 2004
It is still missing something and you need to find a better way to switch between characters. Hunters travel in pairs so there wouldn't be 5 there would be 4 or 6. YOu need to describe the settign better.
ODST
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GP-02
5:36 pm | May 9, 2004
Great story. cant wait to see what happens next. The suspense is killing me
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