halo.bungie.org

They're Random, Baby!

Fan Fiction


Comments for 'legion of Honor - part 1: Holding Si Bhet'



AmokTheClown
1:38 pm | December 14, 2003
i liked it. at least you gave a background to it all. and added a situation. not many people do that, they're just like... dis big fite wuz hapinin like, ova dere... and Chechen Fighter obviously has never heard of a field promotion. and flamethrowers? c'mon man, its like a man portable friendly fire distribution system. and Berconius, railguns are a bit over the top, they have anti-material rifles n e way, they don't need em. a railgun on a tank maybe... also, Brocktree, i think that plasma weapons would vaporise more then liquify. the extreme heat would cauterize the wound. but i still liked the idea of walking through a pool of your mates.... not that i'd want to do it... someone get me a bucket
Berconius
1:02 am | December 14, 2003
Nah, flamethrowers haven't been used since Vietnam, they really aren't such a great idea when you think about it. If the fuel gets hit, the guy goes up in flames so bad bad bad.

I'd stick with railguns, they cost trillions of watts of power, their kickback is a BITCH and a half squared, and they're already used in the MAC rounds of starships in the Halo universe but hey, you could still try. They'd make a nice anti-armour weapon.

Very nice story, you may want to chop down your storytelling, though since it gets a tiny bit long winded. Very little, like that description of the frag grenade frying the elite. You could probably cut it to about three sentences... compression of statement.

Indent tags would help, too. Other than that, great job, this story line is intresting and not overly flashy. Keep it up.

P.S. Lord Brocktree was the bestestestest lord of Salamandatron EVER! Only Sunflash the Mace and Stonepaw come close! ^_^
Walker
9:17 pm | December 13, 2003
Yes, the story had bad grammar. Happy?
Walker
9:17 pm | December 13, 2003
Actually, forgive me for saying the story had bad grammar. That was completely untrue. But my first comment still stands. Otherwise, very good story.

Semper Fi

-Walker
Brocktree
7:54 pm | December 13, 2003
Ok, just for reference, this battle was HUGE. Absolutely enormous. The Sergeant was the highest ranking officer after every platoon except his was destroyed. Naturally, the UNSC didn't have any manuevering room to just throw another Lt. into the Company, andEvanson knew the men well. Well, that's my justification ;)
Chechen Fighter
7:41 pm | December 13, 2003
I like the story, but the number of forces are ridiculousely high. Lets keep it realistic. And I like the use of artilary and bombers. Oh.. seargents dont get promoted immediately to captains, 2nd leutnent 1st may even then things must be desparate before they do that. Which in this case it is. Anyhow try to add (if you don't mind) flame throwers, great for trench warfare. Ok, enough criticism, great story and keep it realistic. The more realistic the more interesting the story.
Brocktree
3:49 pm | December 13, 2003
Thanks. Would you mind posting a comment about the story itself, and not grammar?
Walker
1:21 pm | December 13, 2003
Do us all a favor and use appropriate capitalization in your titles, at least.


bungie.org
brr!