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Comments for 'Halo Trilogy: Destroy the 'Judgment Day' (Chapter II, Part 1)'



Taze
7:19 am | September 2, 2003
Good story line and the grammer is improving,keep it up.8/10
Alpha Lance
10:48 pm | September 1, 2003
Yeah thanks you guy that like my story. But next time, write in the big box. That is way it is there, and who are you.

Alpha Lance
Creator of Halo Trilogy©
.
10:42 pm | September 1, 2003
.
Alpha Lance
10:37 pm | September 1, 2003
Thanks
And I see you got a signiture to.

Alpha Lance
Creator of Halo Trilogy©
Hawk7886
10:33 pm | September 1, 2003
Well, the storyline is pretty good, but the story itself has a load of errors in it. I would've given it a higher score if you had proofread it first :\\

If you want to email it to me, I would be honored to edit and proofread it just to polish it up and make it all shiny :)

Hawk7886@hotmail.com

7.5/10

~Hawk7886™
Alpha Lance
10:14 pm | September 1, 2003
Just so y'all know, I copying off of JCDention or
what ever his name is.

Alpha Lance
Creator of Halo Trilogy©
,
10:14 pm | September 1, 2003
,
I have to say that this story was will good. But there were some spelling errors, and some grammer e
10:14 pm | September 1, 2003
.
Alpha Lance: creator of Halo Trilogy©
9:05 pm | September 1, 2003
I can also do this.

© ® ™
© ® ™

Alpha Lance: creator of Halo Trilogy©
WWTD
7:39 pm | September 1, 2003
it was good
Alpha Lance: creator of Halo Trilogy©
7:39 pm | September 1, 2003
Look at this!!!

Alpha Lance: creator of Halo Trilogy©

^_^
Alpha Lance
3:29 pm | September 1, 2003
Thanks Hunter_. And just so all y'all know. The
part 2 has a twisted side to it.
Hunter_Killer
3:27 pm | September 1, 2003
Kool!! 2128748746427643257618746138746328746437637632756387543756436543756437324643754656347536543564351365643165436.9/10
Alpha Lance
2:22 am | September 1, 2003
Chapter II part 2 submitted, and I did indent this
time. But what is score. And my new peom Why Bother was submitted. =^)
LockDown
10:42 pm | August 31, 2003
[Indent]-ions help :)
The Great One
7:12 pm | August 31, 2003
10/10
Gold Elite
7:01 pm | August 31, 2003
No, this is your highest score. 10/10.
Covie Killer
6:59 pm | August 31, 2003
Great story line. And I like that Shadow idea
9.7/10. And that was your highest score.
Alpha Lance
5:17 pm | August 31, 2003
Thanks! And part two will be out hopefully by
next week.
Walker
5:08 pm | August 31, 2003
ha, i spelled spelling wrong. oh well.
Walker
5:04 pm | August 31, 2003
what an honor... first to post on this review! well, Alpha Lance, it was very good. again, it needed to be split up a little better and grammar and spellimg are still an issue, but that's not something that can't be changed by a little proofreading. 9.25/10.

also, work on your last words. for instance, when the marine yelled, "i'm takin' y'all with me!" it could have been something more short and to the point--i.e., "Up yours!"

again, this was a very good story. i hope the next part comes in soon.

Semper Fi, Alpha.

-Walker


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