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The Newb Wars Part 2
Posted By: ShotgunGoBOOM<Lordofdragons@cox.net>
Date: 6 March 2005, 3:06 AM
Read/Post Comments
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"So, M6D, what weapon are you going to bring?" Maverick asked him. "You
know, the usual. My legendary M6D pistol with the extended barrel, and a
Shotgun." M6D replied. Maverick took out double pistols. "These things
helped me save Grace in one of my freelance missions. I'll use 'em again."
He muttered. PERSON took a Rocket Launcher and a Battle Rifle. Brian grabbed a Battle Rifle also and a
Brute Shot. "Man these Halo 2 imports kick ass!" Brian said. BISHOP grabbed
a Plasma rifle and a SMG. They were all ready. They silently all jumped into
the Pelican and started toward the Newb Base. The Pelican's engines roared
and then became a distant buzz as AP watched it go.
*At the Newb Base*
"So.... you're a team from HaloIb headquarters? Strange that they would only
send in a team of two.... But no matter. You're going to die soon enough."
DejaVu said as he paced in front of them. SGB had a black eye and a broken
leg, and Smoke had a bloody lip, a broken arm, and a dislocated wrist. That
had been from the guards. But a far worse fate awaited both of them. They
both were staring stonily at the wall, not acknowledging him. "So, you would
both rather die then reveal the secrets of HaloIb?" DejaVu asked. For some
reason unbeknownst to him, their silence infuriated him more then them
yelling insults at him. He punched SGB in the chest, but SGB didn't even cry
out. Just as he was about to yell for the execution of his two silent
prisoners, the door exploded and a heavily armed group charged in. At first, SGB and Smoke thought that AP had sent a
team to rescue them, when they saw that the situation had just gotten worse.
It wasn't a team AP sent, but Bungie employees! "Oh Sh-"
DejaVu had just enough time to say before a Bungie employee got him with a
syringe. Instantly he slumped unconscious. Smoke and SGB both felt a needle
inject something into them, and then they fell into darkness.
*On the drop ship, 1 hour later*
M6D dropped to the ground, followed by Brian, PERSON, and BISHOP. As they
looked at the base, they saw a cloud of smoke coming from the ceiling. All
the newbs were either dead, or unconscious. The pilot, MooJuice, took off,
and promptly smashed into the base. The Pelican exploded and MooJuice died a
tragic, yet stupid, death. "She was stupid anyway." BISHOP said. They all
cocked their guns and headed to the base. As they got close, the encountered Rawnblade. "Hey guys. The last time I saw them, they had climbed up the wall." "Ok, Rawnblade. Follow us." Brian said. Rawn nodded. They entered the base, and since
all the Newbs were either unconscious or had run off, they encountered
no resistance. Finally they reached the interrogation room. Inside, they
found blood on the floor, the door blown open, some tiles broken, and 7's written all over the
wall in crude text. "Oh my god. Bungie has been here." BISHOP said,
instantly recognizing the marks, since he was there during the armed raid on
Bungie, and seen Jetboogieman die tragically. "That means only one thing."
Brian said quietly. "You don't mean....?" PERSON asked. "Yes. Bungie is
after the copy of Halo 2 we stole. Again." Brian said.
"AP, we have a situation here." Bishop said into the radio. *Cshh* "What
is it, BISHOP? I'm kinda busy trying to fix Smoke's new Warthog on a
uh...test drive and I want to fix it before he gets back and gets pissed."
AP replied. *Cshh* "Bungie has kinapped Smoke and SGB. I think Frankie
commanded this. You can tell by the way the 7s are written. They look kinda
like Mister Chief if you squint and turn your head at 48 degree an-" "Shut
up! I don't need any detail. All we need to do is find Smoke and SGB. They
know even more then you can possibly THINK! I'm sending a dropship toward
your position." AP said. *Cshh* "Sir, yes Sir! We will go rescue them!"
BISHOP told him and cut signal. BISHOP then walked over to the team. "It
looks like were going on the next armed raid on Bungie. Are you ready?"
BISHOP asked them. Instantly they all snapped a salute and said "SIR, YES
SIR!" "Then lets get the hell out of here and res-" Suddenly they heard a
sharp CRACK and and M6D fell to the ground, dead. "OH SH*T! TAKE COVER!"
PERSON yelled at the top of his lungs and dived behind a rock. Everyone
complied, and Brian almost got a pat on the back by a bullet. As soon as
they all took cover behind some sand dunes and peeked over to see who was
shooting them. All their jaws dropped.
*At Bungie HQ*
Smoke and SGB were about ready to give in. The whole mission had been a
disaster. But SGB had one hope left. What Frankie and his goons didn't know
was that Smoke still acted like Indiana Jones whenever SGB said Beef Banana.
As both of them lay on the ground, with a weird drug in them that prevented
them from saying insults, SGB was trying to loosen the ropes that help both
of them together, in a position that a perverted goon had put them in. SGB
finally gave up just as Frankie came back in. "So, you thought we wouldn't
try to get the copy of Halo 2 even after it was released? Wrong! What you
don't know is that when you enter a secret command, you are able to see...A
PREVIEW OF HALO 3! Now, tell me where you hid the copy?" Frankie demanded.
Smoke managed to free himself from the perverto position and looked at
Frankie. "Never you son of a...what was I saying? Damn drug. I can't even
insult him." Smoke gave up. SGB struggled to sit up. "Okay, okay, I'll tell.
I hid it in...the...the..." He said. "Yes?" Frankie said, excited.
"The...BEEF BANANA!" Suddenly, Smoke jumped up, tore his bonds loose, and
grabbed a Indiana Jones Hat (copywrite). "NO! NOT INDIANA JONES! IT'S MISTER
CHIEFS ONE WEAKNESS!" Frankie screamed. He tried to run away, but it was to
late. He melted and became a mere flesh-colored puddle. SGB grabbed the
keys, and started toward the door. Suddenly it burst open and a flood of
flood came in. "OH SH*T!" SGB screamed.
*Meanwhile, back at the Newb base....*
It was Bonk who was shooting at them. "Holy Crap! It's the almighty one! How do we stand a chance?"
Brian said. "We'll just have to try." BISHOP said grimly.
And so, the elite forces of IBonk assualted the creator of IBonk, Bonk. It
was almost suicidal, and the most amazing thing the Author had ever written
was about to happen, when he suffered a fatal heart attack and died (obvious
Monty Python and the Holy Grail rip-off). His heart should start beating
again soon.
What will happen next time? Will SGB and Smoke survive the flood onslaught?
Will BISHOP and his team beat Bonk? WHY AM I ASKING SO MANY QUESTIONS?
Find out next time on THE NEWB WARS
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