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An Anthology of Thoughts: The Driver:Gunner Ratio
Posted By: MasterSushi<mastersushifp@hotmail.com>
Date: 1 December 2004, 9:18 PM


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(Do you smell that? Yep, it's another author's note!)
Author's Note: This isn't really a story, but it's still fiction(ish... Okay fine, but I'd just loved to write it, share it with you and get your reviews), and some of you may disagree with some of the content, but I hope a lot of us share similar feelings. It's more of a compilation of my thoughts while driving a 'Hog in multiplayer (LAN and Split Screen) and co-op. I'm writing this unplanned and impulsively, so please excuse any rambling. Enjoy!

Section 1: The Main Differences.
The main differences between a Driver and a Gunner are these:

Things a Driver loves to do (which the Gunner hates.):

-Involuntary barrel rolls and voluntary barrel rolls.
The Driver usually loves these. The same goes for flips and the like. The Gunner however cannot see what he's shooting at. His screen spins wildly and, because the Gunner is typically facing a different direction to the one the Warthog's travelling in, becomes somewhat confused.

-Getting hit my a Wraith's mortar
When this happens for a Driver, it's like his prayers have been answered. He flies through the air, exhilarated and thrilled. then when he lands a wave of satisfaction fills his lungs, before being released in a whoop or another form of monkey noises. After the jump, the Driver will talk about how brilliant that was, while the Gunner emits a bunch of complaints that the driver will ignore.

-Handbrake Turns
One of the most satisfactory things on any driving game is the handbrake turn. It's a lot easier to execute on Halo, but has many more advantages. It's hard to hit the Driver when all that the enemy can see is the backside of his vehicle. But the Gunner takes a heavy amount of battering. It's fun to spin around and wipe out a bunch of Covies. But the Gunner takes a heavy amount of battering. Making a few laps around a beach, or up and down a highway is generally a great way to avoid heavy gunfire, especially on Legendary. The Gunner is more often than not appreciative... But takes a heavy amount of battering.

You can see my point.

Section 2: The Driver's Jurisdiction.

As a rule, the Driver loves to feel in control. He knows that without him the Gunner couldn't get anywhere. On a vehicle map or a CTF game a Driver can sometimes be integral to the plan or mission. A Gunner can never be as good a Driver as the Driver himself. And vice versa. So the Driver is extremely important to the Gunner. The Driver tends to do what he wants to do when he's driving. He wants to go to the jumps, squish some Grunts, and do the other things that a Driver quickly becomes addicted to. And he will do so. There's nothing the Gunner can do to stop him. It is probably this feeling of control that leads us onto our next subject.

Section 3: The Driver 's Irrepressible Big Headedness.

The most common phrase I hear Driver's say, and the one I say the most is this:

"I could make that. Easily."

The sentence is a signal to the Gunner to groan and exclaim that the Driver is crazy/out of his freakin' mind. The Driver will speed towards a tiny gap between some rocks or trees, speed over a cliff, or another high surface. A brilliant thing to try and do is to park a 'Hog in amongst a bunch of Covenant, and while the Gunner is preoccupied in shooting stuff, attempt a primitive Warthog Launch. You don't have a lot of grenades but you can still get the Warthog to fly a few metres. So what if the Gunner isn't to pleased? The Driver is always in control. And don't worry, you'll laugh about it later. The point is that the poor Gunner can only sit and shoot, as the power hungry Driver sends them both to their deaths... Or he pulls off a fantastic stunt.

Section 4: Getting used to Halo 2's Warthog.

If you're like me, you probably felt out-of-touch when you drove the Warthog in Halo 2. You get used to it, you start to love the E-Brake rather then despise it, but the amount of times I've shouted "There's no reverse. THERE'S NO REVERSE!!!".... I don't know if it's just me, but I swear the reverse on the 'Hog is a lot slower. I pull back on the stick and nothing happens. Then it moves. Slowly. Now I start to turn. Slowly. Then I can drive away. A good example is on a CTF game on Zanzibar.



It was morning and we'd just bought Halo 2 (Limited Collector's Edition, of course) The whole 'Halo group' were at my house, and a classic Sushi versus Sheikah battle was inevitable. We played a Zanzibar single flag CTF first, because we were pretty sure of the layout of the map from E3 and previews etc. Team Sushi took the assaulting position and the 'open the gate and send in the 'Hogs' strategy was about to take place. I hopped in the Driver's seat and a Gunner and passenger followed suit. Accompanied by Ghosts, we sped to the structure. The Ghost Drivers expertly entered the structure, neutralizing enemies before opening the gate. My passenger leapt out the Warthog, through the gate and grabbed the flag. He sat back in his seat and yelled the almighty cry:
"Drive you b****ard, drive!" Every Driver has heard that before. And is followed each time by the Driver's reply:
"It's not so easy, you know!" I manoeuvred through the rocks as best as I could but crashed pretty close to the defender's base.
"Drive fool!", screamed the Gunner. The Passenger saw what was happening and stifled a laugh, but the Gunner could not see the rock. Then came my excuse. My battle cry:
"There's no reverse. THERE'S NO REVERSE!!!"



Sorry if that went on a little too long... But you see what I mean, right? That minor reminiscence just reminded me of something else.

Section 5: Gunnerland. And it's always the Driver's fault.

The Gunner lives in his own little world: Gunnerland. In this world the people have no legs and they have guns for arms. Little green cyborgs chauffeur them around in jeeps and all they have to do is shoot aliens and shout profanities at the Driver. You could say roughly the same for Drivers but I'm not going to. As a Driver, it's an act of treason. It's always the Driver's fault. This is true most of the time. But it's not always our fault. If a Gunner misses an enemy, it's the Driver's fault. Well I'm here to tell you: !NO IT'S NOT! No way...

Section 6: Conclusion.
So there you have it. An overview of the Gunner-Driver relationship. The wars rage on all over the world, mainly about whose fault that mass explosion was. So I really hoped you enjoyed reading this! Goodbye!


P.S. Before I forget, there's one more thing Driver's are inclined to hate. Marines! Those stupid, stupid, idiot Marines, that jump in front of your 'Hog and roll around. Why won't they just get in!?!?!!!!!!!! (Marine: Part 2 is gonna take a long time. I really want to carry it on but I need ideas desperately and any input is welcome. I understand about action now, that it's not important, and I'll shape up on my grammar.)

Dedicated to my ever faithful Gunner, D0nk3y F4c3








I sure hope no one noticed that most of this is just pointing out the obvious. Thank you for reading. Good night!:)





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