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The Croton Chronicles: Chapter 5, If a big purple dinosaur can be your friend why not a big blue Ali
Posted By: Earl Hershberger (Funkster) & Trevor White (Boxer[subnova])<twhite1721@hotmail.com>
Date: 26 February 2004, 6:47 PM
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-The Croton Chronicles: Chapter 5, If a big purple dinosaur can be your friend why not a big blue Alien?-
They headed into the forest, "I'm picking up covenant transponder signals." Andrea said to Renner. "Okay here is the basic jist of my plan, Grater, Andrea, and Seton you go to the left and do a feigning attack, then myself, Hillock, and Carl will charge up the center, Blue two you will then use this moment to counter attack, then my team will grab the active camo and covertly retrieve Shandor."
"May I interject?" asked Hillock.
"Ooooh, that was a big word for a little man." Renner laughed very amused at his own wit.
"Well sir," Hillock started "there are only six of use tactic seem a bit out of the question, why don't we just have Felp up their shoot the hell out of the covies then we can mop up the rest?"
Renner proceeded to give Hillock a blank stare for a good solid ten minutes, and then continue with his plan.
"Screw this." Hillock belted and proceeded to put Felp on the line. "We need you to blast the crap out of the covenant base oh Felp old buddy?"
"Fine whatever," came over a very disgruntled voice, "but my name is...."
Hillock cut him of by cutting the com link. Twenty minutes into Renners great plan explosions started going off.
"Let's take them!" Yelled Grater. With that everybody charged the covenant base like a group of lemmings. They didn't come across much it seemed old Felp had some anger issues to work out.
"THIS PLACE LOOKS LIKE A BATTLE FIELD!" yelled a most irritating voice.
"You can't be serious he actually survived." Grater said dumb founded.
In fact to put it bluntly Shandor looked better than they had left him, he was happily sucking down a tub a purple past and looking around like he had never seen a crater before.
"Holy crap you survived!?" Renner yelled.
"Yeah so?" said Shandor "and just a side note if you ever get the chance to fall out of a pelican most defiantly do it, it was awesome up till the falling and hitting a tree part."
"Dualy noted," Renner said.
"I wasn't notified the covenant fed prisoners."
"Oh this stuff," said Shandor, "it rocks you want some."
"Oh god it smells like vomit and Grater's feet." Renner said gagging on his own bile.
"You should meet my new friend his name is Yaashoon or Yeeshany or Yooshoony or something like that." Said Shandor quit confused and trying to look at his own mouth like a newborn child.
"What kind of stupid name is that?" Seton said.
"I think it's a very good name," said a blue elite standing behind the crowd of seven.
"You fricking tard," said Grater clubbing Shandor like a baby seal.
Shandor's only response was a muffled "Grapf" and a satisfying thud on the ground.
"So you and Shandor are friends," Renner asked the elite, "well my friend you have very bad taste in friends."
"Not exactly," said the elite, "I tolerated him at best. The man creature was below average intelligence...even for your species."
"No, he is just retarded, and god hates me so now he is my radio man." Renner said almost crying.
"Well let's salvage what we can pick up the moron and get back to base." Hillock said.
"Okay Yaashoon welcome to the team, yes I know I should be a little more cautious but I've got a good feeling about you."
It only took the well trained team a matter of days to do clean up, shortly after the loaded up and headed out. The trip was filled with rude jokes, dry humor, a few beatings, and repeated threats of throwing Shandor out again and not retrieving him. Just before touchdown at witch Shandor would scream his usual "TOUCHDOWN!!!!" like he was a football announcer. Hillock looked over to Yaashoon who had been quite most of the trip, and posed the most dangerous of questions.
"Hey Yaashoon, drink?"
"What is this drinking?" The elite asked most perplexed.
"Oh you're going to find out baby you're going to find out."
Elsewhere, in the space around croton another massive battle was about to began, a planet that had only been a minor human outpost was now found to contain forerunner technology, something the humans had to get their hands on, But people like Renner on the ground earth would be destroyed and the end of existence would occur before the planet was captured. So three prototype Earth ships classified as Hellbenders were sent to the sector, they had weapons and shields similar to those of the Covenant with the exception that their reactors couldn't take nearly what was required of them. Problems arouse two days into their trip. After several serious malfunctions there was only one ship left and it was forced to be recalled. It seemed that Croton had sadly fallen back in the hand of the inept if not slightly psychotic and retarded marine forces. God save us all.
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