A fragmented tale...
Posted By: Chanly Smann<thecambodian@msn.com>
Date: 3 February 2005, 9:26 PM
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I dreamed this a long time ago...I was on a rainbow...and we met in the middle...she was radiant...the girl of the dawn..."Ill find you." I said..."Ill find you in the real world again..." real world....we walked past each other...I was going to what ever it was she came from...and she walked towards where I came from.....thunder in my distance...thunder....and a dream I dreamed I once dreamed.....
Yasmine......Yasmine..... Yasmine....ya.....Ill find you...in this world or the next.....I will find you......yasmine....I will find you.
Voices.... who's voice is that.... my voice.... my voice.... my voice.... my.... Achilles?...im not Achilles.....am I? No....what is my name...my name....my name...104....104....four...phor...fore.......
I opened my eyes...and saw an unfamiliar ceiling. Voices...doctors...I remember...I remember my name.
My name is fred...
Tubes...tubes....tied into my skin...liquids...saline....
So hard to think now...maybe it's the drugs...maybe it's the drugs...
I close my eyes and wonder...if everything that has happened to this point has been for naught. I remember my parents...they were nice and all...but...I always felt as thought I could be more...then that night when they came and took me...I was somewhat relieved...is it bad to leave...was it bad to leave...I would have wasted this life in mediocrity...but...why do I feel...as though this has happened before...in a dream I had long ago...his name...my name...Monday....Monday...I was a man known as Monday...I've always had these dreams...even during my time on reach...almost every night...maybe it was memories of a past life...it has to be...I've never seen vids or read on the 20th century...but why should I often dream of those times...John never has to worry like this...ive seen him sleep...he is a man of this time....this place...he belongs here...I guess we all belong here...but he never questions himself...he knows only what he knows and nothing else...the perfect soldier...the perfect soldier...Earth only needs one Hero...and because he is a man of this time and place...I suppose it will be him.
I respect John...and if all should come down to the final moments I will stand right by his side and fight until the end. Ive never told anyone about this...no...some things you keep to yourself and yourself only. Kind of like Yasmine...there is something about her...something that makes me strong inside...something that gives me peace...I wake each day only to see her face...like something out of a dream...ill have to ask her someday...someday ill be brave enough.
Why should I think like this after I wake up in the morning....I sometimes lie awake after a dream to sort things out in my mind...when I am awake and doing drills during the day these thoughts don't intrude upon my daily life...but before the day starts....I can think to myself...in my own voice...sometimes in the half light between sleep and dream...sometimes...I can remember....the true.....
I dream....a dream I dreamed I dreamed.....
Darkness.....my voice....a memory beyond.....
When I found out that Yasmine had died...I didn't know how to feel...I didn't know how to feel at all...sadness....no...not sadness....longing...no...not longing....but something was happening to me...is this the man I am to become...I loved...I loved...once in this life...it is good enough for me...I will never find another like her...I am a better person for knowing her. I wonder if when I die I will see her again...but that dream...will we always be walking away from each other...I feel as though this has been happening forever.....infinity...always passing each other...always passing....but now...I think I can break the cycle...no....it won't be john who decides who will win this war...it will be humans who will decide...my mind feels as though it is being pulled apart...as if something is trying to tell me something...
"Open you eyes....."
open your eyes...
open your eyes.....
not john
not john
you
you
you
you.......
Who am I....Really....
"You are....as I AM."
Who are you...
I am you....
"this has played out over and over...always ending in a stale mate..."
"??It was always about you Fred...even in your last life...it was always about you..."
"You have to Chose to Rise above Everything...above the Flood...Above the Forerunner...Above the Covenant....Above Even Mankind....free your mind...free your mind....free your mind..........finalfinalfinalinfinityinfintyinfintyinfinity"
In a darkness beyond space and time....
One: what is happening.....
Zero: He is remembering....himself...
One: is that possible...for him to remember himself...
Zero: Im not sure but...if there is one to do what is happening...it is he...
One: what is happening....
Phi: he told me once that when one becomes aware...one finds the missing pieces of himself....he is taking back all the shattered remains of his mind....becoming whole again in an incarnation...
One:....Convergence........
Zero:...Quantum Convergence....
Phi: but how can he free his mind if his mind is here...dreaming.....
Tau:...he has to die.....here....
Zero: die...but he can't die...can he...
Phi: oh he can die...he can die...but this never came up before...never...we have seen the passing of an eternity and yet...this never came up before...but he said something before we put him to sleep...
Ages Ago.....
ETERNAL: you guys have always tried to fix paradoxes after they happened....did you ever wonder to fix a paradox before it happens. I mean...if I wake into an active time matrix that exist sometime in the past...then...could not I change the events of that matrix...from then?
One: possibly...but each time you begin a new cycle your memory is erased entirely...its highly unlikely...you could be anywhere at any time...but only one at a time.
ETERNAL: What if I leave clues behind...to my identity...what if after enough cycles I could see the patterns...see the clues...and remember this life...?
Phi: You certainly have many ideas on this...could you...perhaps...but highly unlikely. We thought this was what you wanted.
ETERNAL: Home is where I want to be.
Phi: Even if you could...it would take forever...
ETERNAL: Time is all I have now.
Somewhere outside time and space....
Phi: he can't die...if he dies here then he will die everywhere...and all life outside will cease to be...
One: no...we have to let him die...in time...we have to return time to him...
Zero: yes...that should work....we cannot actively watch the universe but we can watch his dreams....so if we return him to the time matrix...and wake him up...then in theory anyway...he would wake with all his memories of that life intact.
Phi: well then...shall we.....
Somewhere on active space....
Phi:Open your eyes....
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