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The Real Roswell: A Grunt's Tale
Posted By: Spartan006<BillCounts@Mindspring.com>
Date: 2 March 2006, 9:10 pm


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The Real Roswell
Author Note: In my story the grunts all say Me instead of I because they speak different than us. This is purposeful, and not a grammerical error.
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      Fooznu, Iat, and Bobo were three Grunt Majors aboard the Covenant capital ship, Ignorant Mercy. The Prophet of Regret had given thr Ignorant Mercy the honor of glassing a small human infested planet called Alfrea. It was a simple sounding mission, since the planet was only about the size of a small moon. As they would soon learn though, sounding easy and being easy were two entirely different things.
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      Fooznu breathed heavily as he waddled down the corridors of the Ignorant Mercy. Carrying a fuelrod cannon half-way across a capital ship wasn't easy for such a little grunt.
      "Excuse me, pardon me, big thing coming through!" he said to the other grunts and elites that crowded the hall. Why must we have so many for the glassing of a single human planet. He walked a little bit faster as the armory came into view, he let out a sigh of relief at the sight of his destination. He sat his fuelrod cannon down on the indigo colored floor, and proceeded to open the door, but it was locked. Great. "Hey, open up in there," he yelled as he banged on the door, causing a metallic echo to vibrate it's way way throughout the ship, "it's Fooznu. Me need my fuelrod cannon fixed. It's jammed." A small camera protruded fom a hole in the wall, and adjusted it's lense on Fooznu.
      "Fooznu? Is that really you?" came a voice from the camera. It was Iat.
      "No, Iat," said Fooznu as he picked his fuelrod cannon back up, "it's a human; of course it's me now let me in!" The door lit up and slid silently open. Fooznu walked in to see a grunt sitting in an elevated chair looking at a computer screen. "Hey, Iat," yelled Fooznu, causing Iat to jump out of his seat, "Me need Bobo to fix my fuelrod cannon. It's jammed."
      "Hhmmm..," said Iat as he typed some stuff into his computer, Me think me can pull him away from his Spectre for a minute. Let me see. Bobo, you still over there?" Iat yelled at the grunt over in the garage pit who was, at the moment, trying to connect some wires on a Spectre.
      "Tell those cruddy elites that they'll just have to wait. Me am almost done with their Spectre!" yelled Bobo in an irritated tone.
      "It's not the elites," yelled Iat, "it's Fooznu. He wants to know if you can fix his jammed fuelrod cannon."
      "Fooznu? Oh yes, me remember. It would be a pleasure." said Bobo as he slammed a panel down on the Spectre. "Me hope you aren't expecting any action, Fooznu. We're just glassing planet not invading."
      "Me just want to safe is all," said Fooznu, "it would be horrible to be caught off-guard by the huma-" before he could finish the entire ship shook from an exterior explosion.
      "What that, Iat?" asked Fooznu.
"Human ships. They just shot our engine core. Commander Elite: Pr`enanu said we need to abandon the Ignorant Mercy. Total self-detonation will occur in 87 trippetes ( Ten minutes ). We need to get to a phantom quickly." The three grunts ran as fast as they could to the phantom docking bay; dodging flaming hot debris as they went.
      "There are the phantoms!" said Bobo, "Me told Greeta to grab some heavy weapons, and meet us in phantom-W16. He should be in there by now." The Ignorant Mercy started to turn on it's side as they jumped into the phantom.
      "Get us out of here, pilot." said Fooznu, as he closed the entrance portal.
      "Roger that. Phantom is exiting the cruiser." As they started their escape Fooznu noticed that Bobo had a worried look on his face.
      "Is something wrong, Bobo?" he asked.
      "Yes. Me have looked all over the phantom, but me haven't seen Greeta anywhere."
      "Me bet you four plums that he is still on the ship." said
Iat. "This always seems to be our luck, doesn't."
      "That would seem so."
While Fooznu, Iat, and Bobo assesed their situation the pilot yelled from the cockpit of the phantom, "We have got several human interceptors on our port side. Does any grunt have an idea?" Iat quickly ran into the cockpit chamber.
      "Do you see that dark spiral ( Black Hole ) over there, pilot." said Iat.
      "Yes, sir, and if you are thinking what me thinks you are thinking then me will just go ahead and say that no one has ever entered a dark spiral, and been recovered."
      "It's either go in there or take our chances out here with the humans." said Iat, as a missile hit the side of the phantom.
      "Me guess you are right. Everyone brace yourselves. We are entering the dark spiral." Electricity jumped back and forth from the dark spiral and the phantom. Warning lights beeped red and green all over the control panel. Grunts in the main section of the phantom began to panic. Then...everything went dark. "We're entering a planets atmosphere." A few moments later the phantom slammed into the planets surface; spewing dust and plasma fuel into the air. It took Fooznu a while to get an idea of how much damage the phantom had taken. He assumed it had been totaled.
      "Fooznu, we're over here." yelled Bobo as he helped Iat up off the red colored dusty ground. As Fooznu made his way towards them he saw many injured and dead grunts strewn across the open field. As he reached them, he turned to see a box-like vehicle with four wheels approach them. It came to a stop about ten feet away from them, and a door open on it's side, and a human stepped out.
      "This is Roswell County Police," the human said, "I need the Army immediately."
      Iat and Bobo tried to get the plasma turrets up and running, but they were fried beyond repair.
      "Let's just surrender," said Bobo, "maybe then they will just kill us quick and painlessly."
      "You are probaly right, Bobo." said Fooznu. Awhile later Army and government officials came, and took the phantom and the rest of the grunts to a governmental facility called AREA-51. To this day, no one knows what happened to Fooznu, Bobo, Iat, and the rest of the grunts. Only time will tell ( cause the government sure ain't gonna! ).





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