Attack of the n00bs by Mr Revenge
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Attack of the n00bs(comedy)
Date: 22 April 2004, 12:53 AM
I was sitting at my computer when a message came up from h.b.o. What the heck I said as I opened it.
It said
The n00bs are going to take over the halo world!They are in blood gutch.They want to fight.Ther are millions of them! We need every hboer we can get! You and others have been selected to fight the n00bs.Click at the bottom to begin fighting.
Not your friend personally; Louis Wu
I thought to myself.What the hell is goin on?!?! I did what the letter said and clicked the botto button.Seconds later I was in a room fille with other hboers.How the hell did I geet here?!?! Everyone fell silent as Louis Wu entered on a stage.
We are under attack by n0- he was cut off by someone that said
will we get free food?
No!
Well you moma is- Just then Wu pulled out a rocket launcher and fired it at the guy.
Now anyone else want to make fun of my moma?!?
One guy raised his hand.
Bye-bye you a''hole
The man was imeidiatly vaprized
Now back to work.he said
N00bs have takin over HBO and they captured the modders from halo mods to make them be in halo multiplayer.He said
We have to kill all the n00bs before they take over the world because bungie has to take over the world.You will be givin armor and any weapon of your choice he continued
And you will be sent to blood gultch to eat them! I mean kill them.
Any questions?
I raised my hand
Yes?
How the heck do n00bs take over HBO and make a real blood gultch and capture modders and how the heck did we end up here?!!
Hell if I know. he replied
Now go get your weapons and armor were gone n00b huntin.
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I and other hboers were pickin our weapons and fitting into our armor.I picked a sniper rifle and a shotgun and a few plasmas when I noticed stuntmutt .
Hey I said What are you doing here
Fighting the n00bs.If they take over HBO than they will take over my comic and that comic is my life! I will die for it!!
OOOKKKAAAAYYYY.I said as he walked off.
Then the speaker phone came on.
Once you get your equipment head to the teleporter and report to blood gultch base.
I ran over and jumped in the teleporter.The war was on.
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( in blood gultch at blue base know n00b headquarters)
Okay soldiers! I am n00b commander h477 Ra6or.The hborers are comin to kill us and take back their site and halo!We will kill them with our bad writing,names, and suisides.That should annoy them so much that they will fall over. A wierd looking scientist came in a captured modder.He said I'm tellin ya their is no such thing as a yellow banshee! It is just a myth to confuse n00bs.
LIES!! the commander said
I'm not lyin!
You must be I saw a picture of it.
That was a purple banshee that glowed yellow...idiot.
Than mod a yellow banshe-
Another man came into the room.
Sir we found the yellow banshee.he said
I to11d yu.He said in n00b tougue
But the man said we encountered a new enemy
What are they?He said
They are elves ''sir''.
The provocy is true they do exist! the commander said
We will use the elves to our advandg.
Sergent he barked.Offer the elves slim jims and tell them to help us.If they do help us they will get all the dead bodies and veicles their are to eat.
Yes sir!
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I was at red base with other hboers. I was ontop of red base now HBO hq scouting the field with my sniper rifle whene I saw hundreds of n00bs walking towards us.Their comin a man said as he drove around the base in a ghost almost hitting the tents and people that were by red base.The n00bs are coming the n00bs are coming!
Okay we got you the first time ! Wu said
Everyone get ready the war is on!
I readied my sniper rifle when I noticed somthing...elves and yellow banshees.
Uuummm. Mr.Wu sir I said
What is it Mr revenge?!
Ther are elves and yellow banshees comin this way.
The n00bs weapons of mass desruction.He said
(to be continued this is my first fan fic and the next one will be really funny their will be very special people that come and help us.)
Attack of the n00bs (part 2)
Date: 23 April 2004, 1:51 AM
We just got back to base.The n00bs were over running the place we saw louis wu on the top of the base with 10 other hboers the only ones left.
Okay guys lets help them out!
We shoot at the n00bs killling 20 of them .The yellow banshees weapons were off the hook!They even had a cup holder and a dvd player and a air freshener that says bite me!We landed the banshees on the ground and went to thetop of the base.
Where the hell have you dumb bastards been.Wu said
We dumb bastards just killed the n00b leader and commander.I said
Hey I thought the elves killed them.MCC said
SHHHH! I want to get an award for us killin him.I whispered
Listen I have a plan.We have to herd all the n00bs into the red base then lower..... the annoyer
''gasp''! That is only used in fital opperations! Cold blooded said
Well what does this look like!?! After we lower it in the base we have to cover our hears with hearmuffs and run for cover.
Now anyone have any plans to lure them in because I sure the hell don't? Wu said
I thought you would know one since you made the idea to lure them in.I said
Well...I was just waiting for somone to act like a hero and make a plan.He said
I have a plan get those yellow banshees in the base and leave the rest to me.
''Sir''! Their breakin through the barricade! A hboer said
I hurried and jumped off the top of the base and said call in the annoyer and drop him in the top entrance of the base when I lure them in.I landed on the ground and said hey you retards theirs a naked modded cortana in the red base and a yellow banshee.
They all ran into base.Right after they did I ran over to where the elves were.
Hey elves their are dead bodies and rusted veicles in the red base.I yelled
Yes more dead bodies to feast on!
They all ran into the base I yelled to Wu lower the annoyer. A black metal box dropped into the hole.I could hear Wu yell open the cage!As soon as it did everyone jumped off the base and went for cover.
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( meanwhile in red base with the trapped n00bs and elves)
Hey where the hell is the naked cortana?!? One n00b said
And were are the dead bodies?! A elve asked
Hey look!!!!! As a n00b pointed toward the metal box.The door came open and they could see a blue glowing ball.
Hey a socer ball! A n00b shouted
Stop being so human! the moniter said
Hey thats the moniter 343! A n00b said
How do you know!
It says right after he said stop being so human .Dumbass
HHHHMMMMM I am a genious!! the moniter said
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! the elves and n00bs yelled as they blew up
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Holy crap! I said it killed em all.
Yeah you should of seen the people who tried to capture him for us.They had to go to teropy for weeks.Wu said
Well you all succesfully killed all the n00bs,elves and yellow banshees.But I cant stop wondering what about stuntmutt and the modders.Look! Helljumper said It was stuntmutt And he had all four modders on the side of the tank eating Mcdonalds.
Why the hell do they have happy meals? I asked
Well they wouldn't let me rescue them till I took them to Mcdonalds.Then they wanted to go in the tunnels then they stayed up their till I had to go get them......they won't let me into mcdonalds anymore.Stuntmutt said
Well Mr Wu I said Do we get any reward?
What hell no! Well you do need somthin in return so here is a cupon for one heart attack and cloged arteries at mcdonalds.Happy eating he said
Lets get outta here! Mcc said
Okay Wu said
Jump into that teleporter and you will be back in your homes doing what ever the hell you do.
We all said goodbye and jumped into the teleporter.
I was home instantly back at my computer at HBO.The front page said we killed the n00bs! And another one that said now bungie can take over the world! Hurray I said Now I can help domminate the world!
THE END!!!!!!!!!
Thats it the end of the n00b wars. I did what I promised and added cold blooded ,Mcc, and helljumper in. Sorry if its not good because i am really tired and outta it.This will be the last one if I make a sequal.So thanks
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